What’s in it for me? Learn to slay the dragons in your brain.
Your brain controls your life – for better or for worse.
If you’re brimming with on-top-of-the-world joy, you can thank your brain for that.
But if you’re spiraling into anxiety and self-doubt – well, you can blame your brain for that.
More specifically, you can blame your brain-dwelling dragons: the beasts that spark stress, anxiety, depression, and armies of other negative thoughts.
These blinks will guide you toward a happier, healthier life by teaching you how to recognize, confront, and slay your dragons.
Subconscious dragons can control your brain – and your life.
In these blinks, you’ll learn about the different parts of the brain – and how they affect behavior; strategies for squashing automatic negative thoughts; and trusted ways to calm your mind and body.
Meet Jimmy, a wealthy 39-year-old business executive.
From the outside, he has it all: an enviable job title, a loving wife, and a full life ahead of him.
But on the inside, Jimmy is plagued by Anxious Dragons that actively breathe fire on his brain.
You see, the past was not kind to Jimmy.
Twenty-seven years ago, his father went to court on a double homicide charge.
At age 12, Jimmy did something no child should have to do – he gave a speech in court explaining why his father shouldn’t get the death penalty.
As Jimmy stood before the judge, a series of negative thoughts ran through his brain.
Will I say the wrong thing?
What if I can’t convince the jury that my father should live?
Will I be responsible for killing my own dad?
The key message in this blink is: Subconscious dragons can control your brain – and your life.
This traumatic event had a profound effect on Jimmy.
From that day forward, he battled a severe fear of public speaking.
Any time he pictured talking to a crowd, flashbacks flooded his mind, and he was transported back to that dreaded courtroom.
Naturally, Jimmy tries to avoid public speaking at all costs.
But, one day, his boss asks him to speak at an upcoming company meeting – and Jimmy’s Anxious Dragons attack.
Suddenly, his thoughts start spiraling: I can’t deliver that speech!
When I botch the presentation, my boss won’t respect me anymore.
I’ll get fired.
No matter how many new jobs I apply to, I’ll never land one – my fear of public speaking will strike during every interview.
Without a steady income, I’ll have no way of paying bills.
I’ll lose my house.
My wife will leave me.
I’ll be all alone, with nothing and no one.
Whoa.
Wait a minute.
How did we get here?
A few minutes ago, Jimmy was a successful business executive.
Now he’s on the brink of utter despair?
All because of one small speech?
This scenario may sound overly dramatic, but it’s based on a true case study.
Jimmy is real – and so are his dragons.
Your dragons are real, too.
You may not be plagued by Anxious Dragons – but your brain almost certainly contains some sort of dragon, whether it's an Inferior Dragon, a Grief Dragon, or a Procrastinating Dragon.
Taming these beasts takes both time and effort.
But, with a little knowledge about the brain, it can be done.
To understand emotions, we must understand the brain.
Step one to improving your mental health?
Looking inward – literally, with the help of a brain scanner.
Science shows that different parts of the brain dictate different emotions and behaviors – so by studying the brain, we can better understand ourselves, not to mention those around us.
Let’s start by examining two areas of the brain that are particularly relevant to our dragon-slaying quest: the anterior cingulate gyrus and the amygdala.
The key message in this blink is: To understand emotions, we must understand the brain.
Ever get caught up in a spiral of self-criticism?
That’s the doing of the anterior cingulate gyrus, or ACG for short.
When functioning properly, the ACG detects errors and shifts attention to important stimuli.
But when the brain is low in a mood-stabilizing chemical called serotonin, the ACG can shift into overdrive and have detrimental effects.
It can cause people to harp on negative thoughts, worry too much, and see countless errors in themselves.
Then there’s the amygdala: the part of the brain that’s involved in emotion, threat detection, and aggression.
Throughout history, the amygdala has been especially useful during high-stakes situations – like during the Stone Age, when cavepeople needed to defend themselves from predators on a daily basis.
An amygdala in hyperdrive pumps stress hormones into the body, which primes people to focus on potential danger instead of on positive things.
That kind of thinking may have been beneficial thousands of years ago, when wild animals lurked in bushes, waiting to pounce.
But today, it isn’t always a good thing – and it often invites fire-breathing dragons right into our brains.
Overactive amygdalas are commonly seen in people who have experienced emotional trauma, such as war or childhood abuse.
And when your brain suffers, so does your quality of life.
As you might have guessed, Jimmy has struggled with both an overactive amygdala and an overactive ACG throughout the years.
But that doesn’t mean he can’t hurdle these obstacles.
And whatever brain-induced difficulties you’re grappling with – well, you can overcome them, too.
In fact, we’re going to spend the remaining blinks showing you how to do exactly that.
Automatic negative thoughts must be banished from the brain.
What’s worse: a toddler sprinting toward a busy intersection, or a critical comment voiced by a coworker?
Rationally, you know the answer: a child entering traffic is far worse than your feelings getting hurt.
But your brain doesn’t know this.
As the part of your brain responsible for processing fear and emotion, your amygdala sees both scenarios as equally serious – even though the stakes are drastically different.
Of course, an automatic fear response is extremely useful in dangerous situations.
In scenario one, it could help you save a child from being crushed by a speeding car.
But this automatic fear response is more harmful than helpful in scenario two.
After all, a critical comment from a coworker isn’t all that dangerous – and dwelling on it can send you spiraling into unhealthy self-doubt.
The key message in this blink is: Automatic negative thoughts must be banished from the brain.
Let’s see what such a spiral might look like in practice.
Ted is a marketer planning an upcoming campaign.
During a staff meeting, his coworker, Claire, points out a potential weakness in Ted’s game plan.
Instead of taking the comment in stride, Ted’s amygdala launches into a series of harsh assumptions: Claire hates the entire campaign.
I should scrap it completely.
I’m horrible at my job.
These pesky words running through Ted’s head are called automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs for short.
Like their namesake, ANTs are often found in armies.
In this case, they march through Ted’s brain, one after the other, wreaking havoc with each step.
ANTs come in many shapes and sizes.
In Ted’s case, All-or-Nothing ANTs suggested that his marketing plan can only be completely flawless or a complete failure.
For Jimmy the business executive, Fortune-Telling ANTs convinced him that one subpar speech would end his entire career, marriage, and life.
Fortunately, ANTs can be exterminated.
The next time an ANT is marching through your brain, confront it head-on by asking, Is it true?
When faced with an army of All-or-Nothing ANTs, Ted should ask, Is it true that I’m horrible at my job, just because Claire suggested one potential weakness in my campaign?
By countering emotion with logic, he can get a much clearer take on the situation.
Putting things into perspective, he’ll realize, “No, it’s not true.
Last quarter, I launched two successful campaigns and got a promotion.
I’m not horrible at my job.
” With that, Claire’s comment becomes an opportunity for improvement – and Ted’s ANTs are exterminated.
Good riddance!
Comparison is the thief of joy, and social media is its sidekick.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.
” Fast-forward to today, and his words ring truer than ever.
Around the world, social media has spawned countless creatures of comparison.
Glued to their phones, millions of people scroll through filtered photos and carefully crafted status updates on a daily basis – counting likes and comparing lives.
In fact, a 2015 study found that teenagers spent more time on entertainment media than they did sleeping.
Unfortunately, our digitally connected world is the perfect breeding ground for yet another type of dragon.
Running rampant in the brains of many social media users, Inferior Dragons tell us we’re not thin enough, not attractive enough, not smart enough, not successful enough – the list goes on.
When listened to, Inferior Dragons can have dire consequences: anxiety, depression, and even suicide.
The key message in this blink is: Comparison is the thief of joy, and social media is its sidekick.
Much like a bad roommate, these dragons need to be kicked to the curb.
One way to rid your brain of Inferior Dragons is by limiting exposure to triggering materials like social media or magazine ads.
For example, if Instagram inspires toxic comparisons, you might consider unfollowing certain accounts – or avoiding the app altogether.
Another strategy for slaying Inferior Dragons is focusing on personal attributes rather than perceived weakness.
Imagine logging onto LinkedIn and learning that an old college classmate, Eric, just landed a job at the dream company that recently rejected you.
Instead of thinking, I’m a failure.
Eric must be so much smarter and more talented than me, challenge yourself to rewrite the narrative.
Reframe your thinking by telling yourself, Eric’s success says nothing about me.
I’m hardworking and capable of achieving great things.
My story won’t look the same as his, but I’ll find my own rewarding path.
You may even adopt a mantra to start using during meditations.
For instance: I am my own unique person.
I can’t be compared to others.
I work hard and am worthy.
As the author says, “Be your best, not someone else’s best.
” If Inferior Dragons start breathing fire on your brain, remind yourself of what you are rather than what you’re not.
Doing so is often easier said than done in our digital age – but, together, preventative actions and positive affirmations can help keep Inferior Dragons at bay.
When faced with grief, start the healing process as soon as possible.
Ever experienced a bad breakup?
It hurts for a reason.
Loss and rejection are felt in a particular part of the brain – the same part that activates when people feel physical pain.
Around the world, grief is wanted by none but known by all.
At some point, you will face a Grief Dragon – whether you’re mourning the loss of a relationship, a loved one, a job, or even a way of life.
In early 2020, COVID-19 spawned millions of Grief Dragons.
Overnight, people found themselves mourning old routines that were suddenly rendered impossible.
Unfortunately, Grief Dragons can’t be avoided.
But, like any other type of dragon, they can be slayed.
Step one?
Getting an early start.
The key message in this blink is: When faced with grief, start the healing process as soon as possible.
As the author puts it, “If you broke your arm, would you wait six weeks to get the bone set?
” Of course you wouldn’t.
You’d head to the emergency room – ASAP.
The same logic applies to the grieving process.
Instead of bottling up emotions, confront them head-on to set healing in motion.
Feeling angry?
Depressed?
In denial?
Acknowledge different stages of the grieving process – but don’t let them define you.
Through your loss, make a point of appreciating the good things that are still in your life.
For example, someone facing Grief Dragons after a breakup might recognize: I feel alone without my significant other, but I still have loving friends and family members by my side.
Another step in slaying Grief Dragons?
Don’t skimp on sleep.
Bedtime may be the last thing on your mind when battling loss – and understandably so.
But insomnia decreases blood flow to the brain’s prefrontal cortex, a region responsible for calming your emotions.
When the prefrontal cortex is weak, negative emotions can easily overtake you and intensify feelings of grief.
Make an effort to get regular sleep every day – and if you’re struggling to do so, consider using natural supplements like melatonin to help tame the Grief Dragons in your brain.
Finally, be on high alert for an ANT invasion.
If Guilt Dragons or Blame Dragons start marching into your brain, squash them one by one by combatting emotion with logic.
(Remember to ask that question from earlier: Is it true?
) At the end of the day, loss will always be painful – but the right steps can help put you on a clear path to healing.
Taming your dragons will lead to a better life.
Now that we’ve slayed another type of dragon, let’s return to Jimmy: the successful business executive with a severe fear of public speaking.
Considering all that we’ve learned so far, how should Jimmy go about taming his dragons in the future?
For one, he might begin by taking a deep breath.
This calms the amygdala, takes his body out of fight-or-flight mode, and helps regulate his heart rhythms.
Once he’s in a more relaxed state, Jimmy could start squashing his Fortune-Telling ANTs by asking, Is it true?
Am I really going to wind up jobless, homeless, and wifeless over one small work presentation?
The key message in this blink is: Taming your dragons will lead to a better life.
From there, he could start focusing on positive thoughts rather than negative ones.
Thinking rationally, he might tell himself: I have a proven record of success at my company.
If I stammer over a few words during the presentation, it’s not the end of the world.
I can practice and be prepared.
Since avoidance of the past raises a host of psychological problems, Jimmy might then confront his childhood, saying: My past does not define my present.
Defending my father in the courtroom at age 12 was traumatic, but I can move beyond that experience.
I am here now, and that moment is years behind me.
To prevent future anxiety attacks, Jimmy may even consider turning to prayer or meditation, which were both found to calm the amygdala in a 2009 study by the International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine.
As an easy entry into meditation, Jimmy might try the author’s “loving-kindness” exercise.
Following four simple steps, he could sit down, close his eyes, take deep breaths, then silently repeat the following phrases: May I be safe and secure.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I be happy and purposeful.
May I be at peace.
If these words don’t strike a chord, he can sub them out for different phrases.
What matters most is that he’s taking the time to fill his mind with positive thoughts – and slaying any brain-dwelling dragons in the process.
Together, these steps make Jimmy happier, healthier, and better prepared to face life’s many challenges.
Looking ahead, he knows one thing for sure: Taming my dragons won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
When in doubt, repeat those exact words.
Then, go off and slay some fire-breathing beasts.
Your brain will thank you for it.
Final summary
The key message in these blinks: Brain-dwelling dragons are made to be slayed.
By squashing automatic negative thoughts and adopting positive affirmations, you can change your behavior and your life – becoming a happier and healthier person in the process.
Actionable advice: Count your blessings.
Stressed about something?
Instead of spiraling into a series of automatic negative thoughts, pause for a moment and make a mental list of things you’re grateful for – whether that’s your health, your home, or your dog.
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