What’s in it for me? From surviving to thriving.
You spend a huge portion of your life at work – so why does it so often feel draining, stressful, or uninspiring?
Maybe you’re just going through the motions, waiting for the weekend to arrive.
Or maybe work is fine, but you can’t shake the feeling that it could be better.
More fulfilling.
More energizing.
Kelly Mackin has been there.
After years of struggling with burnout, frustration, and unfulfilling roles, she set out to understand what truly makes work a positive, enriching experience.
The result?
The Motives Met framework – a simple, practical system for aligning your job with your psychological, emotional, and social needs.
This isn’t about chasing the perfect job or waiting for the right boss to come along.
It’s about taking control of your work experience, wherever you are.
By following Mackin’s five-step process, you’ll learn how to identify what really matters to you, reshape your work environment, and thrive, without having to overhaul your entire career.
In this Blink, we’ll go through all the steps in detail.
But first, let’s learn more about Mackin, and how she got here.
Are you thriving?
Kelly Mackin was exhausted.
Not just physically tired, but soul-tired.
Burned out.
While she for so long had prided herself on being a workaholic, the creative agency environment was slowly sucking the life out of her.
The stress, the pressure, the lack of sleep, the drinking culture… it was taking its toll.
At one stage, Mackin was dependent on Adderall and sleeping pills.
She even started to suffer from panic attacks.
It would take years to recover, through a change of career, a change of mindset, and some much-needed help from therapy and meditation.
Now, when Mackin reflects on this difficult period of her life, she’s struck by how normal it seemed to her at the time.
All the stress and anxiety – well, that was what you had to put up with if you wanted to be successful at work.
But actually, it doesn’t have to be that way.
In fact, it shouldn’t be that way.
On average, a third of our lives is spent at work – pretty incredible, when you think about it.
In the words of the author Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
” Your work life is your life.
Mackin is now the CEO of an organization that helps people to live their best work lives.
According to the research, only 16% of people actually feel that they’re thriving at work.
So even if you’re not as unhappy as Mackin once was, ask yourself – are you thriving?
Chances are, you’re not.
But like so many people in the world right now, you’re probably feeling ready for a change.
The COVID-19 pandemic shook things up, transforming the world of work, and making us re-evaluate our priorities.
Health is important.
Well-being is important.
And we can prioritize these things while also thriving in our careers.
Of course, there’s no quick fix – no easy, one-size-fits-all solution.
But there are practical steps you can take to make positive, lasting changes in your life.
Mackin and her team have done the research, and come up with a five-step framework that anyone can use.
Whether you’re on the brink of burnout, or you just know that things could be better, these steps will help you transform your work life.
Step 1: Understand your motives
So let’s go through them, one by one.
The first step is to look at your motives.
In other words, your needs – all the emotional, social, and psychological needs that affect your well-being.
From her research, Mackin discovered just how important these needs, or motives, really are.
It’s essential that they’re met in order for us to feel happy and healthy at work.
Mackin and her team identified 28 distinct motives that make up well-being in our work lives.
They include achievement, purpose, prestige, growth, variety, flexibility, and peer connection.
Of course, we all have different motives, and they’re not all equally important.
The aim is to identify what your individual motives are, and what matters to you most right now.
When those fundamental needs are met, we feel the emotions we want to feel at work.
And when we’re consciously aware of this – more in tune with our emotional intelligence – we’re more likely to make good decisions, and take actions that will have a positive impact on the people around us.
By meeting your own needs, you can help to transform your overall workplace environment.
So, start by simply making a list of your most important motives.
Mackin’s organization, Motives Met, has a survey you can use, but you can also reflect on your own, making some notes in a journal.
Take some time to really think about it.
What do you need in your work life?
For example, is it more important to you to have freedom and flexibility?
Or is security more of a priority at the moment?
Sometimes you’ll have conflicting needs.
Just remember that the aim is optimization, not perfection.
You may have to compromise.
Once you’ve completed your list, head to the next section – we’ll explore how to put it to good use.
Awareness is so important.
And yet most of the time, many of us are just sleepwalking through life.
We’re on autopilot.
This is something that Mackin only fully realized when she began studying mindfulness.
Step 2: Be mindful
She also discovered what a difference a mindful approach can make to all areas of life, especially our work lives.
Mindfulness, in this context, means living intentionally, with purpose.
It’s about taking a more proactive approach to life, and having greater awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and needs.
So, for step two of the framework, we’ll apply this mindful attitude to the motives you just identified for your work life.
To do this, use “the 3 As” – conscious awareness, focused attention, and intentional action.
The first one, conscious awareness, is incredibly powerful.
It means being aware of what you need, and why you need it.
Then, there’s focused attention.
You can’t prioritize everything.
So, instead of spreading yourself thin, decide which needs are most important, and focus on those.
And finally, intentional action.
Don’t get stuck on a default setting of “passive.
” If you want to tend to the things that matter to you, you need to act with intention.
Not sure where to start?
Try a journaling exercise.
Think about your approach to your work life motives, and ask yourself some questions.
For example, “Am I lacking in conscious awareness with some motives more than others?
” Or, “Have I been taking a passive approach with this motive?
” When you use the 3 As of awareness, attention, and action, you become mindful of your motives.
And this puts you in the driver’s seat, helping you to create the life you want.
Step 3: Evaluate your motives
Next, let’s look at step three – evaluating your work life motives.
To get where you want to go, you need to have a really clear picture of where you are right now.
You need data.
That’s why Mackin recommends measuring your motives, and giving each one a number.
Start with your top five motives.
Write them down again, and then, considering your work life now, give each one a score on a four-point scale.
Let’s say one of your motives is “flexibility.
” Is that motive a one (drowning), a four (thriving), or something in-between?
When you’re deciding on a score, think about a wider time period.
Not just how you’re feeling today, but maybe the last few months, or even the past year.
In this period, to what extent does it feel like the motive is being met?
After you’ve given each of your top five motives a score, the next step is to evaluate them holistically.
Think about the motives in context with each other.
For example, one of Mackin’s motives was “security.
” But she realized that it was at odds with some of her other, more important needs, such as “achievement” and “future success.
” The truth is, some needs are stronger than others, and sometimes you’ll need to make trade-offs.
For Mackin, this was an important realization, and it might be for you too.
Analyzing your motives holistically can give you a whole new perspective.
Once you’ve done this, take a moment to reflect.
How do you feel about your motives?
Now that you have this data, it’s easier to understand how you truly feel about your overall well-being at work.
If Mackin had done this exercise years ago, when she was stuck in that toxic work situation, she would have realized just how unhappy she was.
You might find that this exercise is a wake-up call.
Maybe it’s time to make some changes.
Step four of the framework is all about communication.
Now, it’s time to talk about your motives – to have conversations with yourself and others.
There’s a story behind your motives.
Just think of all the experiences you’ve had in your work life – everything that’s influenced you, leading to your current situation, and your hopes for the future.
Step 4: Share your story
Creating a ‘motive story’ can help you to reflect on all of this, and to give it meaning.
Research shows just how important storytelling is, both for improving mental health, and well-being.
Also, the thing about stories is that they’re meant to be shared.
It’s one of the most powerful ways of connecting with others.
So, now it’s time to craft your motive story.
First, think about the personal meaning of your motives.
If “peer connection” is one of them – something you need in order to thrive at work – what does that say about you?
What do your motives mean to you?
Then, think about the “why.
” Why are these motives so essential for your work well-being?
And then, think about your motives in terms of strengths and weaknesses.
What’s going well?
What’s not going so well?
And what are the results?
Find some uninterrupted time to really reflect.
Have a conversation with yourself about your motives, and your current work life situation.
Once you’re ready, start talking about your motives with other people, too.
When we talk about these things, we get to truly know each other.
We connect.
And having these conversations in the workplace helps to create a more caring, supportive environment – a more human environment.
It takes a bit of courage to begin with, but it’s so worth it.
So, think about your motive story, and how you might share it – how you might start a conversation with someone in your work life.
Then, make sure you commit to doing it.
Remember, in order to improve our work well-being, we need to take an active role.
Which brings us to our fifth and final step.
Step 5: Meet your motives
Step five.
It’s time to take action, and meet your motives.
If that feels overwhelming, remember – you only need to focus on the things within your control.
Our brains have a tendency to try to focus on everything, but if it’s not within your control, forget about it.
Stay focused on changes that you can make.
And to make those changes, start small – with small, simple steps.
You can take the first one now, if you like, by coming up with an action plan.
Begin by brainstorming some ideas.
How are you going to meet each motive?
Think of ways to strengthen your motive – perhaps with a change in mindset, or support from others.
Come up with some dos and don’ts.
Also, don’t hold back – it’s fine to include some less realistic, more aspirational ideas too.
Next, prioritize your ideas, and finalize your plan.
This part is a little trickier, as you’ll need to think practically.
Think about the resources you’ll need, like time, money, or energy, and decide which actions are most important or urgent.
When you’re dealing with your more ambitious ideas, try breaking them down into smaller, more practical steps so they feel manageable.
And lastly, commit.
Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to lose focus.
Make sure you’re really committed by asking yourself questions such as “What difficulties can I expect?
” and “When things get tough, how can I keep going?
” Now, one last thing.
When you finish this Blink, what’s the next step you’re going to take?
It could be something small, like setting aside time this weekend to reflect on your motives, or something bigger, like taking immediate action at work.
Every step has the potential to spark real change – leading you toward a work life well-lived.
Final summary
In this Blink to Work Life Well-Lived by Kelly Mackin, you’ve learned that only a minority of people feel that they’re thriving in their work lives.
We tend to accept stress and dissatisfaction as normal, but it shouldn’t be that way.
Given that work comprises a significant part of our lives, we should prioritize well-being alongside career success.
Kelly Mackin, a well-being expert who focuses on work life, recommends following a five-step framework.
Step one: understand your motives.
Identify the emotional, social, and psychological needs driving your well-being, and prioritize the ones that are most important to you right now.
Step two: be mindful.
Apply the “3 As” – awareness, attention, and action – to intentionally address your motives and take control of your work life.
Step three: evaluate your motives.
Assess how well your needs are being met.
Reflect on your priorities, and adjust to align with your overall well-being.
Step four: share your story.
Discuss your motives and experiences to build connections, and foster a supportive workplace environment.
Step five: meet your motives.
Take small, actionable steps towards fulfilling your needs, focusing on what’s within your control.
The key is to start small but stay committed.
Reflect on what matters, take action, and step by step, you can build a thriving, fulfilling work life.
Okay, that’s it for this Blink.
We hope you enjoyed it.
If you can, please take the time to leave us a rating – we always appreciate your feedback.
See you in the next Blink.