What’s in it for me? Learn how to expertly cross the wonderful but hellish realm between your past and future success.
You’ve been working hard for weeks, months, maybe even years to develop that groundbreaking project, establish your multimillion-dollar business, or launch a revolutionary product. Now, after all that effort and time, you can finally say you did it. You’re filled with triumph, exhilaration, and pride. Success, after all, does bring about wonderful feelings.
But just when you thought you could finally sit back and bask in the glory of your achievements, you find yourself in the shadow of your next colossal goal. It’s staring at you right in the face, playfully beckoning you to come closer. As soon as you see it, you have that unmistakable urge to go and follow it. You want it – bad. But suddenly, you’re filled with stress, self-doubt, and anxiety about chasing that new goal. Apparently, success can feel like hell too.
Yes, success is both a place of wonder and hell. It’s Wonderhell, and you’re sitting right in it.
The question now is, how do you navigate this place of mixed feelings to emerge victorious on the other side? Or better yet, how can you start thriving in Wonderhell so the next time you’re in it, you can fully enjoy the journey? That’s what you’ll find out in this Blink.
Get ready to accept the depths of your abilities
Here’s the great thing about Wonderhell: It doesn’t just show you what your next success could be like. It also shows you what you could be like. It offers a sneak peek of an upgraded you. A person you never even knew was there. A you with so much more potential.
While that might sound fantastic, it can also be quite scary and uncomfortable. But if you want to cross Wonderhell into your next success, you have to be ready to accept this new level of potential.
This means learning to be unapologetically ambitious. Allow yourself to dream big, and make that big dream a reality. Take Sallie Krawcheck, for instance. When she realized the flawed state of the retirement savings industry for women, she was struck with the idea of creating a women-first investment business. It was admittedly a tall order. But she knew she could do it, especially after her stint as a research analyst at Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. and as CEO of Citigroup’s Smith Barney unit. She fully embraced her potential – and founded the now successful investment platform Ellevest.
Embracing your potential also involves daring to step into the shoes of that upgraded “you.” This can mean fighting against impostor syndrome, which will eat at you the moment you try out your new identity. You’ll question whether you really belong, or if you’re even worthy of being there. But here’s the truth about impostor syndrome: It isn’t a “you” problem. It’s a problem with the system you’re operating in. The system is designed for people who don’t think and behave like you, so it’s only natural to feel like an impostor.
But being different isn’t something to be ashamed of. In fact, you should celebrate it! When Lydia Fenet worked as an auctioneer at Christie’s auction house, she acted the way other auctioneers acted – stiff and proper. Deep inside, though, she knew she was different. Once that unique version of herself showed up on stage one auction night, she accepted it fully and let go of the mold she’d desperately conformed to. Embodying that different self proved to be the right choice – it helped her raise no less than half a billion dollars at Christie’s various charitable auctions.
If you want to accept the upgraded you wholly, you have to be brave enough to choose that version of yourself. It probably won’t meet everyone’s expectations, and that’s OK. Because at the end of the day, it’s you who gets to decide what success looks like – not them. People’s approval of you will always be unattainable, so why even bother trying?
Instead of listening to others, choose to listen to yourself. Tune into your intuition, that little inner voice that has already gotten you this far. It’s the same voice that will help you navigate Wonderhell to that shiny new success glittering in the distance.
Reframe how you react to the negative emotions surrounding success
While crossing Wonderhell, you’ll be bombarded with multiple negative emotions, all seemingly determined to stop you in your tracks and bring you down. But these emotions don’t have to constrain you. They can actually be your stepping stones to growth – you just need to reframe them as such.
One of these emotions is the fear of uncertainty. If there’s anything scarier than monsters in the dark, it’s an uncertain road. You’ll never really know what will happen during your journey toward that next success – and this scares you so much you don’t even want to take the first step. But do you know what separates the winners from the rest? They keep pushing through despite the uncertainty.
Kara Goldin’s beverage company Hint went through dozens of uncertain stages, from development to quality to distribution issues. But she and her husband Theo didn’t give up – and today, Hint is worth millions.
You too can beat uncertainty by switching your inner thoughts from warning mode to cheerleader mode. Instead of being afraid that you’ve never done this new thing, be excited that you’ve never done this new thing. Instead of obsessing over what’s uncertain, obsess over what you can control instead. You should concentrate on the things within your control because they’re what can take you from the starting point to your next success. And if disaster does strike along the way, look forward instead of looking back. Change the question from, “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I do next?” Turn catastrophe into opportunity.
Aside from the fear of uncertainty, there’s also the fear of doing things without a safety net. You’re terrified to fly because there’s nothing to catch you if you fail. But the thing is, you never needed a safety net in the first place! Everything that you’ve done, learned, and experienced in the past has already brought you to this current success – and it can take you to the next one too. All you need to do is think like a champion athlete and trust in your training.
If you still believe you can’t do it, then grab someone who’ll tell you that you absolutely can. It’s hard for people to recognize their own potential; sometimes, it takes a friend to help them see what they’re really capable of. Identify that friend, and ask them to be your accountability buddy as you do new things and forge new paths. With their help, you’ll have a better chance of reaching new heights.
The fear of uncertainty and soaring without a safety net aren’t the only things Wonderhell will throw at you. You’ll also experience self-doubt as the critics around shower you with unsolicited feedback. They’ll tell you that you can’t do so and so because it’s too scary, risky, and colossal for you to undertake. But if you already know in your heart what you want to do, then, by all means, keep at it! What others think shouldn’t be a factor in whether or not you pursue something. If someone’s holding you back, you need to get comfortable with staying away from them – and you might even have to cut them off completely.
Heather Monahan said goodbye to that certain person in her life, and now she couldn’t feel more free. She’d been working at a media company for 14 years and was a beloved member of the team. Unfortunately, the chief financial officer wasn’t as fond of her, especially after Heather started a consulting business on the side. The CFO was so furious, she made Heather’s work life miserable and ultimately fired her. But that moment was what launched Heather to her next level of success – proving that some goodbyes can work in your favor.
Plan for your repeat visit to Wonderhell
If you think of success as a tranquil haven where the chaos finally subsides into a gentle murmur, think again! Behind that first success is another, bigger success – and another even bigger one. Success isn’t the final stop after all; it’s merely a stopover.
That means you’ll be continuously learning lessons and experiencing failure. That also means you’ll be visiting Wonderhell over and over again. And since you’ll be spending a lot of time in this space, it’s best to learn how to be comfortable in it.
One way to thrive in Wonderhell is to occasionally press pause on your hustle.
When Vinh Giang became a successful magician after leaving his office job, he was initially happy. He was traveling nonstop, booking gigs, and conquering the world. But over time, he realized he was hustling too hard and was neglecting his family. He was so busy working that he lost sight of what was really important to him. Eventually, he woke up from his goal-oriented trance and started a virtual training business so he could be more available to his family.
There’s likely a Vinh Giang inside you too. You keep pursuing the next big goal, and allowing the demands and distractions of your success to get in the way of what actually counts.
You hold the power to change that, though. You can choose to stop chasing that target and relax for a moment. Use the downtime to enjoy what you’ve accomplished and be present for the things that matter to you – be it your kids, friends, or your own well-being. Stopping momentarily doesn’t make you any less of an achiever. You’re still success-oriented, and the next achievement will still be there for the taking when you decide to resume your journey.
Once you step out of your downtime, make sure to set your priorities straight to avoid burnout. Plan your schedule around the things that you love doing – things that inspire and motivate you. They should be the ones taking up most of your time.
Now that you’re a frequent visitor to Wonderhell, another important thing to work on is your perfectionist attitude. Striving for perfection all the time will take away the wonder in the journey, preventing you from enjoying every moment of it. Instead of grinding to get perfect results, build deliberate habits. They don’t have to be big and audacious right off the bat. You can start small – eat one healthy fruit a day, run a quarter of a mile, practice two minutes on the guitar. The small habits you build today contribute to the big success you can achieve tomorrow.
There’s beauty in being in Wonderhell because it means you’re already halfway through your next goal. You can see it, and it’s almost within reach. But your sojourn in Wonderhell is also when you’ll start thinking of staying in the comforts of your previous success. After all, you’ve been in that space for a while now – why not extend it a little longer?
Unfortunately, the longer you stay at the pinnacle of success, the higher the risk of self-sabotage. You’ll become too confident, complacent, and outright bored. Before you know it, you’ll be dismantling the very thing you’ve strived to build. Before it reaches that point, have the courage to pack your bags and move on to your next goal. Think like a beginner, start from the bottom, and wear failure like a badge of honor.
Final summary
Success results in feelings of excitement, but also of doubt as you contemplate your next big success – a mixed bag of emotions called Wonderhell. The mere thought of your new goal can awaken a deep longing for it. But to reach that goal, you’ll need to be brave enough to cross Wonderhell first.
That means accepting the depths of your abilities, reframing your response to negative emotions, and planning for your next Wonderhell. Yes, it may be hellish, but it will also be full of wonder – because within Wonderhell lies the boundless extent of what you can do and become.