What’s in it for me? Discover how to build trust in the workplace.
You probably consider yourself to be trustworthy.
But what about the people you work with?
What do they think of you?
Charles Feltman, a leadership coach and trust expert, once carried out a survey.
He asked respondents to rate their own trustworthiness, as well as the trustworthiness of their coworkers and management.
The results were revealing.
Interestingly – though perhaps not surprisingly – respondents generally viewed others to be less trustworthy than themselves.
It stands to reason then that some of the people you work with probably think you’re less trustworthy than you realize.
This is a problem because the most successful organizations tend to be the ones where people trust each other.
The good news is that trust is a skill – something you can build and get better at.
So, it’s time to take an intentional approach to your relationships at work.
In this Blink, we’ll look at some practical tips for creating and maintaining trust.
You’ll soon discover just what a difference it makes when employees have faith in their leaders and each other.
And while we’re focusing on workplace relationships, who knows … the skills you learn here might just spill over into other parts of your life too.
The anatomy of trust
What do we mean by “trust,” when we’re talking about workplace relationships?
For our purposes, trust means that you take a risk willingly.
You allow something you value to become potentially vulnerable to someone else’s actions.
The thing you value might be something concrete, like money or a promotion.
Or maybe it’s a bit less tangible, like a value, or a belief.
Whatever it is, when you trust someone, you’re willing to accept some level of risk to that valued thing.
This kind of trust is fundamental in the workplace.
Trust allows us to share our thoughts more openly, to discuss and debate – even to disagree.
We can work together more easily when there’s a foundation of trust.
But in order to truly understand trust – and to learn how to create it – we need to break it down.
How do we decide if someone is trustworthy or not?
What aspects of their character or behavior are we looking at?
Trust depends on four distinct attributes: care, sincerity, reliability, and competence.
When we’re evaluating whether or not to trust someone, we assess each of these four things.
In the following sections, we’ll look at each of the four elements in detail.
But for now, what’s important to note is that there are four distinct attributes.
What this means is that trust isn’t all-or-nothing.
Someone might be highly trustworthy in one area, but less so in another.
For instance, let’s say someone you work with is untrustworthy in terms of reliability.
He tends to miss deadlines, or be absent at key times.
However, if you believe that he’s sincere, there’s still some trust.
You don’t have to write him off as totally untrustworthy.
So, when we’re thinking about other people’s trustworthiness, we can take a more nuanced approach.
But when it comes to our own trustworthiness, ideally, of course, we’d like to be perceived as trustworthy in all areas.
Let’s explore some practical ways to build and maintain trust, examining each of the four attributes in turn.
Care
The first attribute we’re looking at is care.
Of the four, care is perhaps the most important element when it comes to building a solid foundation of trust.
Essentially, care is the assessment we make about someone else’s consideration of our interests and concerns.
We assess to what extent the other person has positive intentions toward us.
To put it simply, we ask ourselves, “Is this person considering my interests?
Do they want the best for me?
” If the answer is yes, there’s trust.
If there are doubts, then there’s a problem.
Imagine that someone you work with has doubts about your care and interest.
Privately, they think you’re only really considering yourself.
As a result, their trust in you might be limited – perhaps they only trust you in specific situations.
Or worse, they might start viewing you as untrustworthy across the board.
Care is so fundamental to trustworthiness because it works both ways.
If your coworker trusts that you care about them, they’re more likely to forgive you when things go wrong.
You might miss a deadline or make a mistake, but they’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because they believe that you care – and that’s what really matters.
There are steps you can take to show others that you care, and therefore can be trusted.
One of the most important things is to listen.
Give people your full attention.
Truly listen to what they say, and look them in the eye.
Then ask questions, or respond in a way that shows you heard them.
This helps create intimacy, as it signals to others that you really care.
Here’s something else you can try.
Get people to tell you about their hopes and desires for the work you’re doing together.
Then, share what’s important to you, and point out common interests.
Finally, before you speak or take action, it’s worth asking yourself these questions: “Will this thing I’m about to do serve the people I work with, as well as me?
If so, why do I believe that?
” By considering these questions, you might realize that you’re about to do something self-serving.
If that’s the case, are you sure it’s worth it?
Is it worth potentially losing people’s trust?
Once lost, trust can be hard to recover, so think carefully about how your behavior might impact your trustworthiness.
Sincerity
Another attribute to consider is sincerity.
Sincerity is the assessment we make about someone’s honesty and integrity.
When you trust that someone is sincere, you believe that their words and actions are in alignment.
You also trust that what the person says is true, to the best of their knowledge.
They don’t lie or deliberately misrepresent facts.
Now, when it comes to your own trustworthiness, it’s worth taking some time to reflect.
You probably think you’re honest and straightforward.
But are you sure you’re coming across that way?
To be perceived as trustworthy, your words and actions must line up.
Sometimes, the conversation in your head might be different to the one you have out loud and this can undermine how much trust people have in you.
Here’s an exercise you can try.
Think of a recent conversation where you felt a bit uneasy, because you know you weren’t entirely sincere with the other person.
You didn’t intentionally deceive them, but perhaps you didn’t say exactly what you were thinking.
On a piece of paper, draw two columns.
Label the left-hand column “what I thought,” and the right-hand column “what was said.
” Start with the right-hand column.
Write down what was actually said in the conversation, to the best of your recollection.
Then, in the left-hand column, write down what you were thinking each time you spoke.
If there were things you thought but didn’t say, put them in the left-hand column, leaving the right side blank.
When you’ve finished, look over what you’ve written.
Was the conversation in your head significantly different from the one you had out loud?
If so, it’s likely that it came across in your nonverbal communication, or body language.
The other person probably picked up on it – not great for their trust in you.
This exercise can help you reflect on how you’re perceived, so that you can do better next time.
Another way to cultivate trust, in terms of sincerity, is to make sure you’re intentional about what you say to others.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of speaking without thinking, sharing information that may not be completely true, or omitting something important.
If people find out later, they’ll have a hard time trusting you.
So, before relating a fact, ask yourself if you’re certain that it’s accurate.
If not, it might be better to keep quiet for the time being.
Also, before you speak, think about what expectations others might have as a result of what you say.
Again, be intentional.
Ask yourself, “What expectations would I like to create?
” If you want to avoid creating specific expectations, frame your comments carefully.
Begin with something like, “I haven’t thought this through yet, but here’s an idea …” To sum up, think before you speak.
When you take care with your words, people are more likely to trust you.
Reliability
Reliability is the next attribute that’s essential for building trust.
Do you fulfill the commitments you make?
Do you keep your promises?
That’s how others assess your reliability, and determine whether or not they can trust you.
While we may think of ourselves as reliable, it’s easy to break promises without realizing, especially in a busy, ever-changing work environment, with so many competing demands.
Part of the problem is communication.
All too often, both requests and commitments are phrased in an unclear way.
As a result, promises get broken, and people are perceived as being unreliable and untrustworthy.
So, in order to build trust, we need to think about how we’re communicating.
Let’s look at it from both sides – making a request, and responding to a request.
First, if you’re making a request, it’s best to be clear and direct.
Use unambiguous language – phrases like “Will you please do this?
” If that seems too direct, you can use something softer, but still clear, such as “I want …” or “I need …” or “X needs to be done.
” These kinds of requests are much more effective than indirect, unspoken requests, for instance, “The conference room is a mess.
” Underneath, there’s an unspoken request: “Please clean up after your meetings.
” But unspoken requests tend to remain unheard.
Now, let’s say you’re on the receiving end of the request.
Someone has asked you to do something, and now it’s on you to respond.
If the request is unclear, ask for clarification, or more information if necessary.
For instance, if you’ve been asked to prepare a report, follow up with: “What kind of report?
A bullet point list, or something more in-depth?
” Once you’re confident that you have all the information you need, you can fully commit, saying “Yes, I’ll do it.
” Alternatively, you can decline.
If you don’t have the time or resources, it’s best to decline the request so someone else can do it.
If saying no is too difficult, another option is to make a counteroffer, like “I can’t do that, but I could do this instead.
” That way, you and the other person can negotiate until you reach an agreement.
Finally, if you need more time or information, you can “commit to commit.
” Say something like, “I need to check my other commitments first, but I’ll let you know by Friday.
” Whatever you say, always be clear and direct, so there’s no room for misunderstandings.
That way, you’ll be able to fulfil people’s expectations of you, thereby building their trust in you and your reliability.
Competence
To finish off, let’s look at the last of the four attributes – competence.
This one’s quite straightforward.
If you trust that someone is competent, you believe that they’re capable of doing a certain task or job.
And if there’s something they can’t do, or need help with, you expect them to tell you.
Competence isn’t about being perfect.
Luisa’s story is a good example of this.
Luisa was an engineer who was promoted to director of her department.
Because she was highly competent in some areas, people assumed that she was an excellent director.
But in fact, Luisa herself realized that she was still inexperienced, and lacking the skills she needed for the role.
Luisa was able to admit that she didn’t know everything – that she sometimes needed help and direction.
She asked for mentoring, read books, and did courses.
And by doing this so openly, she managed to build and maintain trust with the people she worked with.
That’s a valuable lesson.
If you want people to believe you’re competent, be honest about areas where you’re still learning, and ask for support if necessary.
Now, here are a couple of tips for building trust in your competence.
Try making a list of things you’re competent in.
If it’s clear to yourself, it will become clear to others.
Also, define the standards – how is your competence assessed?
You may need to compare your standards with other people’s.
When you’ve really defined your competence, it’s easier for people to trust you.
One last tip.
Ask for feedback about your performance.
Often, people won’t tell you about your mistakes until you’ve really messed up, by which point the trust is already gone.
Make a habit of asking for feedback upfront.
Once again, it goes back to communication.
Be open, honest, and direct, and you can create stronger, trust-based relationships that will help your whole workplace thrive.
Final summary
The main takeaway of this Blink to The Thin Book of Trust by Charles Feltman is that trust is essential for successful workplace relationships.
Workplace trust means willingly taking a risk by making something we value vulnerable to someone else’s actions.
Trust isn’t all-or-nothing.
People assess our trustworthiness on the basis of four distinct attributes.
Firstly, and most importantly, care.
People trust those who genuinely consider their interests.
Listening actively, and acting with others’ interests in mind, helps build trust.
The second quality is sincerity.
Trust grows when people believe you’re honest and consistent.
Align your words with your thoughts, and be intentional in your communication.
Next, reliability.
Keep your promises, and communicate clearly when responding to a request.
And finally, competence.
Clarify the areas where you’re competent, and be honest when help is needed.
By strengthening these qualities, you can enhance your trustworthiness and build stronger workplace relationships.
Okay, that’s it for this Blink.
We hope you enjoyed it.
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See you in the next Blink.