# The Saad Truth about Happiness by Gad Saad - Blinkist

What’s in it for me? Discover eight secrets to making your life happier.

Happiness. With so many books and articles on the topic, you might already be burnt out on the subject. Still, who doesn’t want to live a less anxious and more enthusiastic life?

Let’s not forget, either, that being happy isn’t just an end in itself. Happier people tend to be healthier because they typically exercise more frequently, eat a balanced diet, and manage stress more effectively. And there are many other benefits too, that filter through all aspects of life.

If you want to live a happier, healthier, more meaningful life, there are certain behaviors you can adopt to achieve this. In this Blink, we’ll start by looking at qualities that promote happiness. Then, we’ll explore eight secrets that’ll set you up for a lifetime of meaning and joy.

The happiness mindset

“Don’t worry, be happy.” If only it were that easy, right? The tricky thing about happiness is that it isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Your idea of living the “good life” might be quite different from someone else’s. 

That said, there are commonalities that researchers have found when exploring the personality traits and mindsets of people who identify as happy. To begin with, happy people tend to be optimistic and hopeful, which in turn helps them to cope with stress and adversity.

Happy people also tend to have stronger social relationships. And they’re more likely to exercise, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep. All of these things contribute to good health, which is another major factor in promoting happiness.

Personality plays a role too, like being extroverted, honest, agreeable, conscientious, humble, and open to new experiences. People with these traits tend to be more positive, optimistic, and resilient.

Now, there are many factors you can’t control that shape your personality, including genetics. For instance, if you’re an introvert, you won’t suddenly become an extrovert just because you want to. But once you understand the eight secrets to being happier, you can work toward changing your habits and mindset, to experience greater joy.

Before we dive into what those secrets are, there’s one last thing worth mentioning: the “happiness paradox.” Simply put, it means that actively seeking happiness can make you sad. That’s because happiness isn’t something we can control directly. It’s a byproduct of other aspects of our lives, like our relationships, work, and health. 

But the good news is that we have control over many of those things. We just need to be aware of how they impact our happiness. That way, we can create a solid foundation for a happier life. Let’s explore that now.

The choice is yours

Take a moment to think about where you spend the majority of your time. The answer for most people is at work or at home with their partner. It’s for that reason that the first two secrets to happiness are your job and your marriage – or romantic partnership. They’re also two aspects of life that you typically get to choose.

The type of work you do affects your health, from your stress levels to your blood pressure, impacting your day-to-day happiness. And what you accomplish in your career can become the meaningful legacy you leave behind. So, finding a profession that’s fulfilling will bring purpose to your life.

Now, it goes without saying that your romantic partner is one of the most important people in your life, so choosing someone who’s compatible with you is crucial. Successful long-term unions invariably progress through phases of lust, attraction, and attachment, each with its own set of challenges. Navigating these phases successfully is key to ensuring a thriving partnership. Often, this means building a relationship on a foundation of trust, friendship, laughter, and shared experiences.

Your friends can also have a big impact on your happiness. Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive. Studies show that having strong social relationships makes you happier and healthier.

Now that you know what forms the bedrock of happiness, let’s move on to secret number three.

Everything in moderation

The concept of the golden mean dates back to Aristotle. It suggests that the answer to life’s questions often lies at the midpoint between two extremes. In a word, it means moderation, which is the third secret to happiness. 

You’re probably familiar with the phrase “the happy medium.” It captures the notion of ideal temperance. In fact, many of our most cherished virtues represent just that. Courage is the midpoint between cowardice and recklessness. Prudence, justice, and fortitude are all representative of moderation. Even the seven deadly sins signify the dangers of either excess or deficiency.

Be it work, relationships, health, politics, or economics, the sweet spot lies between the extremes. Effective leadership requires a certain level of assertiveness that avoids becoming aggressive. Likewise, perfectionism can be the enemy of creativity if taken too far, but so can a complete lack of attention to detail.

Perhaps you’ve heard of analysis paralysis. This is the anxiety-inducing result of having too many choices. Consumer research shows that people are happiest with a moderate selection to choose from. The same goes with money. Happiness experts concur that an abundance of wealth, fame or status doesn't guarantee fulfillment.

The universal maxim “all things in moderation” reflects the optimal balance that allows individuals, organizations, and societies to flourish. We find virtue by cultivating wisdom and self-restraint. 

This middle path requires mindfulness, but it also promises lasting contentment. By curbing extremism and nurturing equanimity, you can live your best life. The golden mean remains the truest guide to happiness.

The importance of a playful mindset

The fourth secret to happiness is not taking life too seriously all the time. As many influential thinkers have noted, play is essential for our well-being. 

Many psychologists believe that maintaining a childlike sense of creativity is key to staying inventive throughout life. But it has other important benefits too. Psychologist Peter Gray has identified four key functions of play, all of which foster happiness. First, play teaches us essential survival skills. Second, it helps us respond to negative events with resilience. Third, play fosters creativity and problem-solving. And finally, it encourages friendly cooperation, which is a vital aspect of human sociality.

In addition to this, studies show that adults with higher levels of playfulness experience greater psychological and physical well-being, and this leads to increased life satisfaction. Curiosity and zest – both of which are closely linked to playfulness – top the list of character strengths correlated with being content.

Sadly though, not all play is created equal. Excessive use of devices like smartphones and tablets can lead to a range of health issues, from obesity to anxiety. Regardless of your age, make sure you balance screen time with outdoor play. Remember – moderation is key.

Play encompasses a lot more than just gaming on your phone or building a fort. In relationships, humor is a form of play. Couples who regularly laugh together tend to have higher levels of marital satisfaction. And if you’re single, don’t worry! Owning a dog brings numerous benefits, from reducing loneliness and lowering stress levels, to improving physical health and enhancing social interaction. Even if you can’t own a dog of your own, spending time with one will bring happiness into your life.

So next time you're feeling stressed or down, find something that makes you smile, or head to your local dog park. It might just be the best medicine you can take.

Variety, the spice of life

The fifth secret to happiness is variety. When we engage in a variety of activities, we keep our minds and bodies active, while reducing the risk of boredom and stagnation. But, as we've seen in previous sections, this too requires a delicate balance.

Research suggests that having a diverse range of activities and goals is linked to our well-being. But there's a catch. Pursuing too many activities can backfire, if you end up unfocused and unproductive. Once again, the key is moderation.

Many eminent scientists and Nobel Prize winners have recognized the value of intellectual variety. Several Nobel laureates in medicine and physiology had multidisciplinary educations, which shows how a mind trained in various fields can unlock scientific mysteries.

Moving from the mental to the physical realm: there’s evolutionary evidence that – regardless of gender – our ancestors likely had multiple sexual partners throughout each week to maximize the chance of conception. However, like doing too many activities, this kind of variety won’t necessarily lead to happiness. For one thing, surveys show that married couples tend to have more sex on a regular basis than single people. However, monogamous relationships can also benefit from introducing variety into their sex lives.

When it comes to the 9-to-5 workday, variety is also useful. Doing the same task for eight hours straight may seem like the most productive route. But dividing your time between tasks is actually more productive in the long run, and it increases worker happiness. So while structure and focus have their place in productivity, having diverse pursuits for the mind, relationships, and lifestyle can enhance well-being when balanced thoughtfully over the long haul. In the end, variety and curiosity feed the soul, and exploring diverse ideas, activities, and relationships can season life with meaning.

Happiness through resilience

We’ve now arrived at the sixth and seventh secrets of happiness. They are, respectively, being persistent in pursuing your goals, while being resilient when faced with failure.

We’ll all experience failure in myriad ways. It’s a natural by-product of working toward meaningful goals. And for that reason, the ability to bounce back from adversity is a fundamental aspect of life. 

Simply put, failure or rejection isn’t the end of the world. The more you expose yourself to it, the more you’ll be able to find coping strategies to deal with it. Consider the world of entrepreneurship, where failure rates can be as high as 90 percent. Success demands tremendous inner strength. So, rather than dwelling on your losses when things don’t go to plan, take a breath and explore what you can learn from your mistakes. By embracing this “Fail Faster” philosophy, you’ll accelerate your personal growth, leading you to fulfillment sooner.

Psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth has made a career out of researching grit – the trait of unwavering perseverance. She’s demonstrated that it doesn’t just impact achievement. It also influences your overall happiness and well-being. 

So don't let the fear of failure deter you; instead, let it propel you. Otherwise, you might end up living with a lot of regret, which is what we’ll explore next.

Reducing regret

The final secret of happiness relates to regret. Regret negatively affects our health and well-being, and increases stress hormones and depression risk in older adults. But you can minimize regret by making decisions that align with who you are and what you want to do in life.

There are different kinds of regrets, each of which arise from different kinds of decisions. Firstly, short-term regrets stem from things we do, then wish we hadn’t. Secondly, long-term regrets arise from inaction and lost opportunities – moments when we wish we’d done something while we had the chance. 

Finally, there are deathbed regrets. These often relate to wishing we’d lived more authentically. This might mean regretting spending so many long hours at the office instead of with loved ones, or having not expressed your feelings more openly, or wishing you’d pursued a passion – generally, things that would have brought more happiness into your life.

Overcoming the fear of failure is key to avoiding the regret that comes from inaction. The thought of “what if?” eats at us far more than failure. We must be willing to take intelligent risks to live boldly and authentically. In the end, a life of varied experiences brings more happiness than possessions. We must be masters of our fate and take action, to live without regret.

It’s never too late to create change in your life. People in their retirement years have gone back to school to get college degrees, or have finished the passion projects they put on hold. If there’s a deathbed regret you want to avoid, take action as soon as you can. Just make sure that your goals are motivated by authentic reasons. If you’re chasing after degrees just for career advancement, the result will likely feel hollow.

By using the secrets to happiness, you can make the kind of choices that will minimize regret. That way, your life will be flooded with meaning, leading you naturally to happiness.

Final summary

Happiness is the natural outcome of making considered and deliberate choices. By focusing on the things in life that you can control, you can create the conditions for the kind of meaningful and fulfilling life that will produce a happy outcome. These conditions include having the right job and romantic partner; seeking moderation, variety, and play in life; being resilient in the face of failure; and minimizing future regrets.