What’s in it for me? A guide to discovering your secret identity.
You’re about to start a presentation at work, and your palms are sweaty.
You sit down to write your slides, and your mind goes blank.
You step onto the stage, or into the room, and freeze.
The voice in your head says, I can’t do this.
Perhaps your everyday self is struggling.
But there’s another you that is ready for the challenge – your alter ego.
When it’s time to perform, to face your fears, or to chase your goals, your alter ego can be your secret weapon.
You may not yet know the exact identity of your alter ego – it could be Wonder Woman, Muhammad Ali, or a powerful animal.
But once you identify and embody this character, you’ll be able to reach your full potential.
Successful people use alter egos to improve their performance.
In these blinks, you’ll discover why successful people like Beyoncé use alter egos; the power of a pair of glasses; and that silencing the negative voice in your head is easier than you think.
Bo Jackson is a phenomenally successful athlete [slight pause] with a secret.
Somewhat surprisingly, he admits to being fascinated by Jason Voorhees – the unemotional, mask-wearing murderer in the Friday the 13th movies.
In fact, when Jackson walks onto the football field, he becomes Jason.
In other words, Jackson transforms into his alter ego.
Adopting the persona of a calm and calculated killer helps Jackson stay cool and calm under pressure.
But Jackson isn’t the only one with a secret identity.
Here’s the key message: Successful people use alter egos to improve their performance.
Once upon a time, there was a talented girl in a Christian family who loved to sing gospel.
She joined a girl group and started to become famous, but there was a dilemma.
The “suggestive” lyrics and dance moves that made her popular were at odds with her religious identity.
In order to express herself freely, the singer created a provocative, extroverted alter ego called Sasha Fierce.
The name of the singer?
Beyoncé.
In short, both Bo Jackson and Beyoncé use alter egos to dramatically heighten their performance.
You might find adopting a new personality in this way to be a bit strange, but it works.
Its effectiveness is even backed by science.
In a recent study by the University of Minnesota, young children were split into different groups and were given a toy in a locked glass box, along with a set of keys.
None of the keys would open the box.
One group of children had access to some costumes and accessories.
For example, they could wear a cape and pretend to be Batman as they tried to open the box.
The children who adopted these impersonation strategies showed much greater perseverance and flexibility than their peers.
They adopted the personality traits and strengths of their alter egos.
In the words of one child who kept persevering, “Batman never gets frustrated.
” You don’t have to be a little kid to call on your inner Batman in times of trouble.
Anyone can use an alter ego in order to have success – in any area of life.
In the following blinks, you’ll find out how.
Use your alter ego to escape the ordinary world and make real change in your life.
A famous author was struggling to overcome writer’s block.
Every time he sat in front of the computer, he would stare at the blinking cursor and hear that little voice in his head: You can’t do this.
You can’t do this.
He felt trapped.
When you find yourself in a similar situation of being stuck in a rut or doubting your abilities, you need a quick solution.
Here’s the key message: Use your alter ego to escape the ordinary world and make real change in your life.
Normally, your imagination exists in a place called the “the ordinary world.
” It's easy to get trapped here – and even the most successful people aren't spared.
Suddenly, and without warning, we just feel stuck; we're unable to express ourselves fully or to realize our dreams and aspirations.
But the good news is, there’s a way out.
First, identify the areas of your life where you feel unhappy.
These could be related to your career, your personal relationships, or even your hobbies and creative pursuits.
Next, be clear and specific about the changes you want to make.
There are five main categories of change: stopping [slight pause], starting [slight pause], continuing [slight pause], less of [slight pause], and more of.
For example, you could say, I want to stop smoking or I want to read more good books.
Using these categories, make an exhaustive list of things you want to change.
Doing this exercise forces you to be honest about how you’re currently living and leads you one step closer to creating your perfect alter ego.
So, how did that successful author get over his writer’s block in the end?
In other words, how did he escape his ordinary world?
The solution was surprisingly simple.
Once he had identified the area of his life where he felt dissatisfied – his creative self-doubt – he looked for an alter ego.
Not long after, the author came across a quote from the novelist Victor Hugo: “Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
” He was so inspired by this concept that he adopted Hugo as his writing alter ego.
The words started to flow once more.
Before you start creating your own alter ego, it’s time for a little self-reflection.
Identify the challenging moments in your life – and the negative forces holding you back.
Think about what happens when you have to give a presentation at work.
Do you ace it?
Or do you develop a stutter and sweaty palms?
When it’s your time to shine, performance anxiety can often take over.
But before you can improve your performance, you need to recognize situations where you tend to struggle.
At work, these could be presentations, client meetings, or closing a sale.
Carefully consider your behavior and your choices.
Where are you going wrong?
What’s preventing you from achieving your goals?
Here’s the key message: Identify the challenging moments in your life – and the negative forces holding you back.
We all have negative traits.
Without them, we wouldn’t be human.
Let’s start by giving these negative traits an identity – “the enemy.
” Your enemy might be imposter syndrome, a personal trauma, or a negative narrative you tell yourself.
Whatever it is, it’s probably preventing you from reaching your full potential.
This is what happened to Valeria, a rising tennis star.
She felt she was being held back by her negative self-talk during games.
Her inner voice was highly critical, saying things like, Stop being so stupid.
It was distracting and destructive, and it interfered with her performance.
Valeria created an identity for her enemy.
The negative voice in her head became “Igor,” and he represented the boys who used to bully her as a child.
By shrinking the enemy to an eight-year-old boy, Valeria found it much easier to dismiss him and regain control.
Once your enemy has an identity you can ignore it, humiliate it, and, ultimately, defeat it.
Try to understand the stories you’ve been telling yourself, as well as your deeper motivations.
Amy is an entrepreneur.
For a long time, she struggled with finishing projects.
She repeatedly told herself she was “a nonstarter” and “inconsistent.
” This became a self-fulfilling prophecy – time and time again, she failed to bring projects to completion.
It was only when she discovered the concept of the alter ego that she realized she could change her story.
Here’s the key message: Try to understand the stories you’ve been telling yourself, as well as your deeper motivations.
Human beings tend to turn everything into a story.
In her book on brain science, Lisa Cron argues that we’re hardwired to think in stories.
It’s the brain’s way of making sense of a chaotic and confusing world.
When we tell ourselves stories about our own identities, these stories influence our unconscious ideas and emotions, which in turn influence our actions.
If the story is negative – for example, that we “lack consistency” or are “too shy” – it can hold us back.
When you use an alter ego, you create new stories for yourself.
This is liberating and empowering; it allows you to leave the dreary, ordinary world where you feel stuck and discover what the author calls your extraordinary world.
This is a magical realm where you reach peak performance by finding your “flow state” or “getting into the zone.
” Before you can reach this state, you need to think long and hard about what you want.
Start with a concrete goal.
For example, if you have artistic ambitions, your goal could be to “see your creative work displayed publicly.
” Then think about a practical step you can take – something like “paint more.
” Finally, consider the beliefs you’ll need to make your goal a reality.
For instance, “start believing you’re capable.
” While it’s useful to have clearly defined goals, you’ll need to take it one step further.
Ask yourself why you want to do something.
Your why is entirely personal.
It could be individualistic or altruistic.
But, in order to work, it has to be something with strong emotional resonance.
Emotion is key because it’s a strong motivator.
For instance, if you feel you’ve been a victim of discrimination in your life, that could shape your goals.
Your sense of injustice is likely to push you forward.
Once you’ve carefully considered your goals and motivations, it’s time to get to the fun part.
Are you ready to create your alter ego?
An effective alter ego needs a clearly defined identity and story.
Having total self-control is hard enough.
But what if you also need to have absolute control over another creature?
This was the challenge Lisa faced.
She competed in dressage, an equestrian sport, and would become extremely anxious during competitions.
Unfortunately, her horse was quick to pick up on her nervousness.
To improve her performance, Lisa needed to regain control of her horse – and herself.
Lisa opted for a character that represented total control, confidence, and poise: Wonder Woman.
This iconic superhero descended from an Amazon tribe that rode horses into battle.
She had a strong emotional resonance for Lisa, providing the perfect alter ego.
Here’s the key message: An effective alter ego needs a clearly defined identity and story.
There are many different ways to create an alter ego.
You can begin with an adjective, such as “determined,” and then choose a person or animal that represents that quality.
Alternatively, like Lisa, choose someone you already admire – a fictional character, performer, or historical figure.
You can even pick a person you know – anybody with whom you feel a strong connection.
Once your alter ego has a basic identity, give it a name.
Then go deeper – define its appearance, style, behavior, and presence.
And then go even deeper – outline its beliefs, values, and expectations.
In other words, bring it to life!
And don’t forget the importance of stories.
Yes, your alter ego needs a story too!
A story will allow you to connect on an emotional level, increasing the effectiveness of your alter ego.
After all, this is not just an intellectual exercise – it’s a way to make real changes in your everyday life.
Your alter ego’s story doesn’t need to be complicated.
In fact, it will probably work better if it’s simple.
It just needs to resonate emotionally.
Take the career of J.
K.
Rowling, for example.
Rowling went from being a struggling single mom to a world-famous author.
If you’re a single parent facing challenges in your career, you’re bound to find Rowling’s story motivational.
OK, so you’ve chosen your alter ego and given it a fully developed identity.
What’s next?
It’s time to get your alter ego out of your head and into the real world!
Activate your alter ego with a physical object that has personal symbolism.
It’s 1940 – a critical moment in world history as countries are dragged into the second major war in a generation.
It’s an especially challenging moment for Winston Churchill, who is about to become prime minister of Great Britain.
As he prepares to travel to London to accept the job, he looks at his collection of hats and asks himself, Which Self should I be today?
The mind can turn any object into a symbol.
For Churchill, each hat represented a different self.
A pair of glasses could have a similar symbolism.
For a celebrity, wearing glasses might represent the switch from public life to personal life, while for another person glasses could symbolize intelligence, confidence, or eloquence.
Symbolism is personal.
Here’s the key message: Activate your alter ego with a physical object that has personal symbolism.
Symbolic objects are a quick, simple, and subtle way for you to transform into your alter ego.
To make this change, you’ll need something grounded in a physical presence.
Let’s call this symbolic object a “totem.
” There are many different kinds of objects to choose from.
Your totem could be a piece of clothing, or an accessory like a hat or ring.
It could be a picture, pen, or pebble.
Your totem could even be an action, like stepping onto the stage or into the boardroom.
Choose your totem carefully.
It must symbolize something to you, be something you can always use, and be something you can activate quickly.
To activate your totem, physically put it on or hold it.
Whatever you choose, make sure it’s a natural, comfortable action that you can do at any time.
But don’t overuse it!
Your use of the totem should feel special and intentional in order to help you in those difficult moments.
Take inspiration from Martin Luther King, who wore glasses he didn’t need in order to look and feel “more distinguished” when facing the public.
But what happens when the going gets really tough?
In the next blink, we’ll look at a couple of additional strategies to help you get back on your feet.
When you’re close to giving up, use the power of your inner voice to fight back.
In every action movie there’s a moment when the hero is close to defeat.
For instance, Rocky is about to lose the fight when .
.
.
bang!
At the last minute, he knocks out his opponent.
But we all know that real life isn’t like the movies.
When you’re at your lowest, it’s hard to fight back.
So how can you keep moving forward, even during a moment of weakness?
Here’s the key message: When you’re close to giving up, use the power of your inner voice to fight back.
Consider Rachel.
She’s a top tennis player who often deals with moments of doubt on the court.
In normal life she considers herself a fair person, so she feels almost guilty about defeating her opponent.
In the middle of the match, this sense of guilt risks seriously damaging her performance.
How does she overcome these tricky moments?
By metaphorically kicking her enemy to the curb.
Rachel has a quick conversation with that negative voice in her head, who she’s named Suzie: This is my court, Suzie.
Get to the sidelines!
Rachel uses this conversation to fight back, putting her enemy in her place.
It’s a useful way to avoid getting stuck in negative thoughts.
Here’s another technique you can try.
This is for moments of self-doubt or self-criticism, when your negative voice – your enemy – is asking things like, Who do you think you are?
You need a powerful, well-prepared answer to this question – something called a “response proclamation.
” To create your response proclamation, think carefully about your life, career, and achievements.
Alternatively, try using the story of your alter ego as inspiration.
Whatever you decide to use, it needs to be a story of determination and accomplishments.
So, when your enemy asks, Who do you think you are?
your prepared response could be something like: Who am I?
I’m the guy who left a job, started a new career from scratch, and worked hard to become the success I am today.
So if you think you’re talking to someone who can’t reinvent himself, walk away!
A powerful affirmation of your achievements will silence the negative voice in your head and boost your confidence.
You’re almost ready to go out into the world with your alter ego.
But before you launch your secret weapon, there are just a few more tips to help you succeed.
Have the courage to put your alter ego to the test, and enter your extraordinary world.
One day in 1955, a young woman walked through the streets of New York.
No one noticed her; she was just another face in the crowd.
Then she turned to the photographer following her and asked, “Do you want to see her?
” The woman took off her coat, fluffed up her curly hair, and struck a pose.
Within seconds, crowds of people were swarming toward her.
This was the moment Norma Jean transformed into her alter ego, Marilyn Monroe.
Like Norma Jean, you can have fun with your alter ego, choosing the moments when you want to perform.
Here’s the key message: Have the courage to put your alter ego to the test, and enter your extraordinary world.
Start small with a simple challenge.
For example, head to a coffee shop.
Try walking, ordering, and drinking as your alter ego.
Or the next time you play a game with friends or family, compete as your alter ego.
You’ll be surprised by how much of a difference it can make.
These simple exercises are a great way to get used to your alter ego in low-stakes scenarios – and to test its strength.
If you already feel comfortable with activating your alter ego, it will be much easier to call on that source of strength when you really need it.
Having the right mindset is crucial too.
As you get ready to enter your extraordinary world, here are a few final pointers to keep in mind.
Embrace challenges, as well as your own creativity.
Be flexible, playful, and curious.
And remember that you are always capable of change and growth.
This last point is particularly important.
To use your alter ego successfully, you need to believe that you can change.
This will help you create completely new results.
It’s time to cross the threshold with your alter ego.
At the end of your life, your thoughts and intentions will be long forgotten.
It’s your actions that count.
So act!
Final summary
The key message in these blinks: Struggling with confidence and self-doubt is normal.
You might feel you’re not good enough, or that you can’t possibly accomplish what you want to in life.
But one surefire way to overcome these fears and improve your chances at success is to use an alter ego.
By tuning into existing parts of your identity and using them to improve your performance, you – like Winston Churchill or Beyoncé – can achieve amazing results.
The only question is: Who do you want to be?
Actionable advice: Make a list of your mentors.
Great mentors can have a powerful impact on your life.
Even if they’re not actively coaching you or giving you advice, you can still draw inspiration from them and learn from afar.
Try reading books by or about them.
And remember, you don’t need to transform into every person you admire.
You can always learn valuable life lessons from someone without making them your alter ego!
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