# Start, Stay, or Leave by Trey Gowdy - Blinkist

What’s in it for me? Learn when to start, stay, or leave a job.

Have you ever found yourself in a job or a situation that just doesn't feel right?

Maybe you're not sure if you should stay and tough it out, or cut your losses and move on to something else.

Well, luckily there are some tested tools you can use to help you make big decisions for your career, goals, and dreams.

In this Blink, we'll be diving into practical advice on how to assess your current situation, identify your priorities, and make an informed decision about your next steps.

Whether you're feeling stuck in a dead-end job or unsure about your current relationship, the following insights will help you navigate through life's toughest decisions.

Section One: Start at the end.

What do you do when you’re working hard toward a goal, doing all the right things, and realize that you're still not getting the outcome you wanted.

Maybe it's a career goal, a personal project, or a long-standing dream.

Where do you go from there?

What else is there to do if you’re already doing all the right things?

Trey Gowdy, the author, found himself in this situation during his career as a federal prosecutor.

He was only 30 years old when he landed his first high-profile murder case.

He and his team spent months preparing for the trial, collecting evidence, and interviewing witnesses.

But despite their hard work, the case wasn't going well, and Gowdy was worried they might not get the conviction they were seeking.

That's when he decided to take a step back and instead start at the end.

Gowdy realized that to win the case, they needed to convince the jury that the defendant was guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

So, he began focusing his efforts on writing the closing argument he’d make to the jury.

He knew that if he could present a compelling, convincing argument, they’d be more likely to come to the desired verdict.

By starting with the end in mind, Gowdy was able to create a clear plan to achieve his goal.

He worked backward from the desired outcome and focused his efforts on the steps that would lead to that outcome.

This approach helped him to successfully secure a conviction in the case.

Since then, Gowdy has used the power of starting at the end to help him achieve almost every goal throughout his career.

The next time you're faced with a difficult decision or a challenging goal, take a page from Gowdy’s book and try to visualize what the end result will look like.

Then, write down a clear and concise description of what you want to achieve.

This can help you focus your efforts and make sure you stay on track to reach your ultimate goal.

For example, if you want to start a new business, write down a description of the company you want to build, the products or services you'll offer, and the revenue and profit goals you hope to achieve in the next one to three years.

Starting with the end in mind isn't just about setting goals, though.

It's also about breaking those goals down into smaller, achievable steps and focusing your efforts around those steps.

Once you have your big-picture goal figured out, take time to write down the milestones, checkpoints, and deadlines you'll need to hit along the way – and break down each step into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Say your goal is to run a marathon in six months.

You’ll need to write down the specific training plan you'll need to follow, the weekly mileage goals you'll need to hit, and the smaller milestones you'll need to reach along the way, such as running a 10k or half-marathon.

By starting with the end in mind and planning backward, you can give yourself a clear roadmap to follow and avoid getting sidetracked by distractions or setbacks.

These techniques can help you stay focused and motivated, even when the going gets tough.

Section Two: Follow your dreams.

What do you do about a dream that seems impossible or out of reach?

Something that you think could never happen, but you still can’t shake the feeling that it was meant to be?

Gowdy definitely felt this as a kid growing up in South Carolina.

At the age of 12, he already had a dream of what he wanted to be when he grew up – a prosecutor.

However, when he told his father about his dream, his father wasn't exactly supportive.

In fact, he told Gowdy that he didn't think he had what it takes to make it as a prosecutor.

Gowdy was devastated by his father's lack of faith in him, but he didn't give up on his dream.

Instead, he used his father's doubt as motivation to work even harder to achieve his goal.

He went to law school, interned at the US Attorney's office, and eventually landed a job as a federal prosecutor.

Through it all, Gowdy held onto his dream, even when it seemed like the odds were stacked against him.

He knew that this was his true calling, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make it a reality.

So, what can we learn from Gowdy's story?

According to him, the lesson is clear: you should always consult your dreams when making important life decisions.

Even if it seems like the odds are against you, even if other people don't believe in you, you should never give up on your dreams.

Of course, this is easier said than done.

It can be scary to pursue your dreams, especially if they seem out of reach or you don't have support from the people you love.

This being said, the first thing you should do to break down barriers to achieving your dreams is to identify the voices in your life.

As Gowdy learned from his own experience with his father, sometimes the people closest to you can discourage you from pursuing your dreams.

It's important to identify these voices and consider their influence on your decision-making.

So, take a moment to reflect on the people in your life and how they impact your dreams and aspirations.

Are there people who encourage and support you?

Are there others who discourage you or make you doubt yourself?

Make a list of these people and consider how you can limit the influence of the negative voices while seeking support from the positive ones.

Another thing you should do is revisit your dreams regularly and adjust your plan as needed.

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes your dreams and circumstances change.

By revisiting your plan regularly, you can make sure you're always on the right track.

For example, if you've always dreamed of starting your own business but have recently discovered a new passion for teaching, you may need to adjust your plan to include going back to school or getting experience in the education field.

Similarly, if you encounter unexpected obstacles or setbacks, you may need to adjust your plan to overcome them.

Section Three: Get your priorities straight.

Do you ever find yourself struggling to balance work and personal commitments?

Or perhaps you often feel like you're running on autopilot, moving from one task to the next without really thinking about the bigger picture?

Well, you're not alone.

Balancing your priorities can be a challenge, especially in today's fast-paced world where you're expected to be constantly connected and available.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind – and lose sight of what's truly important.

Gowdy learned the importance of setting priorities early in his career when he was offered the opportunity to become the United States Attorney for South Carolina.

At the time, he was a successful prosecutor with a promising career, but the new job would require him to move his family and work longer hours, which would inevitably impact his family life.

To make this decision, Gowdy sat down and wrote out his priorities.

He realized that his family came first, and the new job would have a negative impact on them.

With that in mind, he turned down the job offer, a decision that he later felt was the right one.

Gowdy’s story highlights the importance of understanding your priorities and sticking to them, even when faced with difficult decisions.

By doing so, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful life that aligns with your values and principles.

To make sure you stick to your priorities, try emulating Gowdy: write down a list of your top three priorities.

Don’t be afraid to take the time to reflect on what these might be.

What matters most to you?

What are your values and principles?

What do you want to achieve in your life?

Once you have your answers, commit them to paper.

Having your priorities written down can help you stay focused on what's most important to you, and it can guide you when you're making decisions that impact your life.

For example, if you're considering a new job offer, you can use your list of priorities to determine whether the opportunity aligns with your values and goals.

Another thing to remember is that your priorities, like your dreams, can change over time, and it's important to regularly reevaluate and adjust them as needed.

For example, when you're young, your career may be a top priority, but as you get older, your family and personal well-being may become more important.

To put this into action, set reminders to review your list of priorities at regular intervals, such as once a year or every six months.

Take some time to reflect on whether your priorities have shifted and whether they still align with your values and goals.

For example, let's say that you've been working long hours and sacrificing time with your loved ones to advance your career.

After reflecting on your priorities, you realize that your family and relationships are actually more important to you than career success.

You can adjust your list of priorities accordingly, and then make changes in your life to reflect those new priorities.

Section Four: Know when it’s time to stay – or leave.

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck in a job, wondering if it's time to move on?

Or perhaps you often find yourself wondering if your current job is leading you toward your long-term goals?

It's a common struggle that many people face throughout their careers.

It can be easy to get complacent and just go through the motions.

Gowdy knows all of this all too well.

In 2018, he realized that his job as a congressman had a limited shelf life – and that he needed to start planning for a future outside of electoral politics.

But how did he figure out it was time to move on?

After all, he was extremely passionate about the work he was doing, as well as the people he was serving.

But he also knew that he couldn't stay in that role forever.

The thought of leaving such an important job filled him with a sense of guilt and uncertainty, but he ultimately realized that it was time to move on.

So how did he figure it out?

For starters, Gowdy spent a lot of time thinking about his long-term goals and whether serving as a congressman was helping him achieve those goals.

He also reflected on the impact his job was having on his personal life, including the time he was spending away from his family.

After weighing the pros and cons of staying in Congress, he ultimately came to the conclusion that it was time for him to step down and focus on other areas of his life.

If you find yourself in a similar situation about your own job, and whether it’s time to move on, it’s once again time to find paper and a pen.

The first thing you need to do is honestly assess your level of job satisfaction.

Make two columns.

In the first column, write down all the things you love about your job – these might be the tasks you enjoy doing, the people you work with, or the culture of your workplace.

In the second column, write down all the things you don't love about your job – these might be the tasks you dread doing, the people you struggle to work with, or, indeed, the culture of your workplace.

Once you have a clear picture of what you love and don't love about your job, you can start to identify patterns and determine whether the things you don't love outweigh the things you do love.

For example, let's say you work at a marketing agency and you love the creative work you get to do, but you don't love the toxic office culture and lack of work-life balance.

By identifying these factors, you can start to explore your options – maybe it's time to start looking for a new job that allows you to do creative work in a more supportive and balanced environment.

If the pros outweigh the cons but you still feel unsatisfied with your work, it could be that you need to look more inward.

Perhaps you haven’t been staying fresh and relevant in your career, and this is causing dissatisfaction with your work.

This is why it’s important to continuously assess and develop your skills.

This means regularly taking stock of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as keeping up with industry trends and developments.

To do so, take out another piece of paper and make a list of the skills you currently have and the skills you want to develop in the future.

Then, do some research to identify resources and opportunities to develop those skills – this could include taking classes, attending workshops, or seeking out mentorship from someone in your industry.

Let's say you work in the technology sector and you've noticed that your coding skills are starting to feel a bit outdated.

By doing some research and finding a coding bootcamp to attend, you can not only improve your skills but also demonstrate to your employer that you’re committed to staying up-to-date and adding value to your team.

Final Summary

Making life’s big decisions can often be a daunting task.

If you feel lost and don’t know where your life is headed, try consulting your dreams.

Envision your ideal career and set goals based on that vision.

Always start at the end – define your ultimate goal and work backward to create a clear path toward achieving it.

This will help you make more informed and fulfilling career decisions.

It could be at some point that your dreams change, or one goal starts getting in the way of another.

If this is the case, take time to assess your priorities.

Don’t forget that these can change over time.

And after you become successful at your given goal, don’t be afraid to take stock of where you’re at – and decide whether it’s time to move on to achieving your next big goal.