What’s in it for me? Learn how to live your life with a crescendo mentality.
Imagine you’re listening to a piece of classical music. As you listen, the music becomes louder. And it doesn’t just get louder; it also swells and grows. It expands and intensifies. The result is an intense blend of rhythm, harmony, and melody. This is exactly what crescendo means in musical terms.
The opposite is diminuendo. The energy of the music fades. Volume and power recede. And, eventually, the music comes to an end.
Applying the same terms to life, living in diminuendo would mean you’d cease to expand your horizons. You’d stop growing and learning, contributing and producing. But you can choose to live your life in crescendo, continuing to grow and contribute, by adopting a new mindset: the best is yet to come, and I’m looking forward to what the future holds.
In this Blink, we’ll guide you through four stages of life where you could choose to diminuendo and fade away - or to crescendo and do your best work ever.
First, we’ll look at the midlife struggle, where you might not think you’ve achieved what you set out to do. Then comes the pinnacle of success, where you believe you’ve achieved great success – and feel you’ve completed all you’ll ever achieve. Third, we’ll take a look at some life-changing setbacks, which could define your future if you let them. And finally, we’ll think about the second half of life, when you’ve retired and the expectation might be that you wind down.
Regardless of which stage of life you’re in, you’ll learn some key principles that can guide you to new heights.
In this Blink, you’ll discover
how to use a crescendo mindset to face your midlife crisis;
that your best work always lies ahead of you; and
why practicing ikigai can increase your longevity.
Midlife
Do you ever think that life has passed you by? Maybe you feel like your dreams and aspirations are beyond your grasp, and you’ve given up trying to achieve anything. Often, this happens in the midlife years and so has become known as a midlife crisis. But you, and many others experiencing the same feelings, have likely accomplished much more than you think in areas that matter the most.
Let’s consider George Bailey for a moment. OK, he’s a fictional character in the film It’s a Wonderful Life – but we can still learn a lot from George. He’s a small-town guy with a low-paying job. He once had big dreams, but he gave them up to manage his father’s company. Now, he finds himself facing financial ruin due to no fault of his own. Despairing, he considers throwing himself off a bridge.
Enter Clarence – an angel who hasn’t yet earned his wings. To earn them, he’s tasked with stopping George from jumping. When George tells him he wishes he’d never been born, Clarence shows him how the town would look without him. It’s a dark place, miserable and full of bitter people. Clarence demonstrates how George has touched the lives of so many, and how his absence would leave a huge hole. Realizing he’s never fully appreciated what he’s had, George rushes home to the people he loves. Only now does he fully understand that he truly has a wonderful life.
What George had forgotten was that success comes in many flavors. We don’t have to measure it in terms of our jobs, nor do we have to meet other people’s expectations. Life is a mission – not a career. What we really need is to be successful in the most important roles in our lives and to work toward being an influence for good in the world.
To help you create your best possible future, write down what you’d like others to say about you at your funeral. Think about what people will know you for, and what your greatest accomplishments will be. When you look back at your life, what will have given you the most joy and satisfaction? What legacy will you leave behind? Does what you want match where you are now?
By working through this exercise, you’ll be able to see what you need to do to create your future life. What goals do you need to set? What adjustments can you make to help you reach those goals?
The answer lies in another book by Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s the principle of first things first. That is, prioritize your goals around the people and things that matter to you most in life.
This principle will also help you forget yourself for a while and instead think about how you can serve others. What can you do to encourage someone, make their lives easier, or raise their spirits?
As you work through your plans, bear these tenets of a crescendo mentality in mind too:
First of all, think about what true success means to you. Don’t worry about what others may think, and skip any comparisons with them. What matters to you in your most important roles?
Second, make sure you can identify which changes you need to make in your life to attain the positive results you desire. Then, courageously work toward making these changes happen!
Success
If you’ve already experienced some great success in your life, you might be tempted to sit back and pass the baton to others. But if you want to live your life in crescendo, you should always remember that your most important work lies ahead. If you adopt this crescendo mindset, you’ll always have a good reason to get out of bed in the morning.
One of Covey’s daughters once asked him if he’d ever write something like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People again. He felt a little insulted. Was his life over? Did he have nothing left to contribute? But he told her that his best work was yet to come, and that he still had other books in his head. His crescendo mentality was key to his passion, dream, excitement, and mission.
Here are some of the main principles of a crescendo mindset that will help you in achieving future success:
Never forget that people are more important than things. Continually renew your commitment to that principle, building and maintaining your relationships with family and friends. Also, think about how you can contribute to the lives of others.
There’s an old Japanese proverb that goes like this: “One kind word can warm three winter months.” So when you have a good thought about someone, communicate it to them at that moment if possible. It may just take a few seconds of your time, but it could inspire that person with confidence or make their day. It will motivate them to be their best self too.
Covey felt compelled to add an eighth habit to The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 15 years after its publication. That habit? “Find your voice, and inspire others to find their voice.” He realized that in order to help others find their voice, you first have to work on your own. Once you’re good at something, then you can help others thrive in that same area. Helping others find their unique potential when they can’t see it themselves, believing in and affirming children in their lives and development, and many other actions all contribute to making a person who they are – and who they will become.
Finally, strive to make the world a better place. You’ll never know when you’ve made your most important contribution or achieved your most important work – so keep learning, trying, and progressing no matter where you find yourself in life. Don’t look back. Look forward with optimism.
Setbacks
In 2009, Christian and Stephanie Nielson’s plane crashed and caught fire. They were lucky to escape with their lives. Christian’s flight instructor, Doug Kinneard, wasn’t so lucky – he received burns on 90 percent of his body and died of his injuries. Christian experienced burns on 40 percent of his body and Stephanie on 80 percent. They were both put into induced comas, and it took five weeks for Christian to wake up. Stephanie’s recovery took longer; it was three months before she regained consciousness.
She’d been a beautiful young woman, and at first, she struggled to look at her new face. For her four young children, all under the age of seven, it was even more difficult. It took a long time for them to adjust. But in spite of all the difficulties, Stephanie remembered that she had a beautiful family around her – and that mattered much more than her appearance.
Stephanie hasn’t let her accident stop her from living in crescendo. She has inspired many others around the world to overcome their challenges too. Over 30 million readers check Stephanie’s blog each month for inspiration and encouragement, and 100,000 people follow her on Instagram.
How would you react if your perfectly planned life fell apart? We may not have control over much of what happens to us in life, but we can choose how we respond. Some of the key principles for overcoming such setbacks are to accept the challenge, choose happiness and keep believing that life will be good, and help others. Anthony Ray Hinton’s story illustrates this perfectly.
In 1985, Hintonwas wrongly convicted of two murders he didn’t commit, and sent to death row. He shut down and became silent. He’d only interact with his family and friends when they visited. But one night, another inmate reached out for help dealing with his own pain. Through the cell bars, Hinton listened as the other inmate told him that his mother had just died. Listening to the stranger’s stories about his mother gave Ray hope. That night, he renewed his faith and decided not to succumb to the realities of death row. For the next 20 years, he transformed his spirit and that of many other inmates, 54 of which were executed 30 feet from his cell. Eventually, Hinton obtained competent legal assistance. But it took another 14 years until, in 2015, he was finally found innocent of all charges. As he left prison, he called out to his friends and family, “The sun does shine!” Later, he wrote a book of the same name about his difficult journey.
Hinton’s story demonstrates that whatever our circumstances are, we have a choice. We can shut down, as Hinton initially did, and live our lives in diminuendo. Or we can allow faith, hope, imagination, compassion, and joy to permeate our lives and grow in influence and power. In other words, we can live our lives in crescendo.
So, how can we do that? There are three important elements: Work on yourself before attempting to change your circumstances. Leave all the bitterness behind, and don’t give in to despair. And forgive and heal as you move forward toward your goals.
But living your life in crescendo no matter the circumstances is only part of the story. You also need to find your why. In the face of tragedy, you need to find a new reason to get out of bed in the morning – a reason to keep moving forward and make the world a better place.
On June 23, 1985, Dr. Chandrasekhar Sankurathri’s wife and their two children boarded a plane heading from Canada to London. They were going on vacation. But they never got there. As their plane approached the coast of Ireland, a bomb planted by Sikh separatists exploded. There were no survivors.
Dr. Chandra was devastated. He stumbled through life for the next three years. But then he made a decision. He wanted to do something useful. He gave up his job as a biologist and returned to India. His plan? To improve life for the needy and destitute in remote areas of India. He identified two problem areas he wanted to help solve: education and rampant blindness caused by malnutrition.
He set up the Sankurathri Foundation in memory of his wife and children. Through it, he built a school and eye hospital in his wife’s hometown. Today, the school teaches nine grades, and the hospital provides world-class eye care to six districts of India.
Dr. Chandra has set his pain aside and is helping to make one corner of the world a happier and healthier place. He has found his why.
The second half of life
Retirement. It’s something that some look forward to; others dread it. Society generally views this as a period of winding down. And the retiree has to think about what to do with the time they have left on Earth.
But retirement is actually a pretty new concept. History is full of people who never cut back just because of their age. And nowadays, people in many occupations – CEOs, doctors, lawyers, politicians, business owners – simply refuse to conform to the idea that their usefulness has come to an end. They continue to contribute year in, year out. And they believe that it’s in the last third of their lives that they’ll make their finest contributions.
In his book The Stress of Life, Dr. Hans Selye reported an interesting finding about retirees who aren’t as connected and involved as they used to be: their immune systems slow down, and degenerative forces in their bodies accelerate. But if they’re engaged in activities where they encounter eustress – beneficial stress – they have both fulfillment and purpose. And, as a consequence, they live longer.
Eustress creates tension between where we are and where we want to be. It gives us something to live for: a goal we want to achieve. This idea is also borne out by the Japanese practice of ikigai – a reason for being. A study of over 1,000 Japanese people showed that those who practiced it lived significantly longer than those who didn’t. With their sense of purpose came a sense of satisfaction, and they were less depressed to boot!
So fight the idea of pulling away as you get older. Instead, dive into projects that provide both you and others with meaning and purpose. You don’t necessarily need to keep working to do this – that idea might be quite unpalatable to many people! You might want to do the things you never found time for when you were working. But you can keep making a contribution in life. You can switch your focus from career to contribution. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Identify a need, and think about where you might be able to make a difference. Is there a problem you can help solve within your community? Perhaps you can help at a local school, collect food or clothing for charities, volunteer during an election campaign, or help a refugee family. Or maybe there’s something closer to home – a family member who needs support or guidance.
Think about your vision and passion. What have you learned in raising your family, running your business, or working in your profession? What insights do you have about overcoming life’s hurdles? There are many people who need a good mentor in their lives, so share what you know with those who need it. And if you’re in a position to offer financial help, do so.
Use your talents, skills, experience, wisdom, and time to make a difference. Serve without requiring a reward – besides seeing the positive results and joy of others. Think about the difference you could make to others who need you.
And draw on your resourcefulness and initiative. Ask questions, and look for smart solutions that involve you and others around you. There’s a world of opportunity around you if you continue to live your life with passion and optimism.
Whether you choose to live the second half of your life in crescendo or diminuendo is up to you. Dare yourself to make a difference, and adopt a crescendo mentality. Be productive and continue to contribute in this stage of your life – a time of excitement, change, and enjoyment.
Final summary
In concluding this Blink, let’s recall the words of Pablo Picasso: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Whatever stage of life you’re in, you can choose a mindset that focuses on continual growth while also contributing to those around you. This is the essence of adopting a forward-thinking mindset – of living your life in crescendo.
J. M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, wrote, “God gave us memory so we might have roses in December.” Throughout your life, be conscious of creating meaningful memories. They’re more precious than anything else.
Your memories become a part of you – and not all of them are good. But the crescendo mentality teaches us that we’re not victims of our past; we can always start anew. So create beautiful moments with your family and friends. Say yes to that camping or hiking trip. Your memories will bind you together, strengthen your relationships, and become the foundation of your lives.