What’s in it for me? Learn how to become a positive genius.
What’s the secret to happiness and success?
Many of us think that it all comes down to luck.
In the game of life, some people just get a winning hand of cards: wealthy families, healthy bodies, high IQs, cheerful personalities, and so on.
But there are also people who achieve happiness and success despite afflictions like poverty and disease.
What’s their secret?
Well, it turns out they have a trick up their sleeves.
It’s a trait called “positive genius,” and it enables them to make the most of any hand of cards they’re dealt.
And here’s the good news: it’s not something you’re born with but a skill that anybody can acquire!
Our ability to achieve happiness and success hinges on whether we perceive them as possible.
In these blinks, you’ll learn why there’s more to happiness and success than just positive thinking; why the glass isn’t just half empty or half full; and how a simple ratio can help you find a better way of thinking about the world.
If you had to name the most important factor in happiness and success, what would you say?
Some people would point to money, social connections, or some other sort of external resource.
Others might say, all that matters is actually on the inside; to them, it’s all about qualities like intelligence or talent.
Who is right?
Is it even possible to come up with just one correct answer?
Lots of people have no money or powerful friends, and they still achieve happiness and success.
Others are miserable and unproductive, despite their exceptional intelligence and talent.
And then there are those who find ways of being happy and successful even though they might consider themselves quite average.
What explains these differences?
Well, the answer has to do with the way people perceive reality.
The key message here is: Our ability to achieve happiness and success hinges on whether we perceive them as possible.
Of course, happiness and success aren’t just about perception.
Whether you want to write a novel or get a promotion, your ability to achieve anything in life depends on having certain internal resources at your disposal.
You need energy, drive, focus, and relevant skills, along with intellectual, emotional, and social intelligence.
If you leverage your resources as best you can, you’ll maximize your chances of success at whatever you’re trying to do.
But the crucial word here is “if.
” No matter how many resources you’ve been blessed with, they won’t do you any good if you don’t make use of them.
And that’s where perception comes into the equation.
Let’s say you’ve got plenty of talent, intelligence, and so on – but you don’t see any path to a promotion.
Maybe you’ve got an unsupportive boss who seems to be standing in your way, or a workload that seems too heavy for you to succeed.
Well, if you perceive your obstacles as being insurmountable, you’ll probably give up on surmounting them.
After all, what’s the point?
If your goal is impossible, it’s a waste of time and effort to even try.
Conversely, the more you perceive your targets as things that are achievable, the more you’ll be motivated to try and achieve them.
And you’ll probably throw all your resources at them.
That doesn’t guarantee success, but it does give you a fighting chance – whereas giving up before you’ve even tried is a surefire way of failing.
The way we perceive challenges is highly subjective and variable.
OK, sure, the way we perceive reality is important – but what about the actual reality we’re perceiving?
What if your boss really is unsupportive or your workload truly is too heavy?
Maybe your pathway to promotion seems to be blocked because it is, in fact, blocked.
In that case, one could argue that the problem isn’t your perception of reality, but reality itself.
You could trick yourself into adopting a different perception, but it wouldn’t change the hard facts, would it?
Well, there’s an element of truth to this argument.
Reality is what it is, and our perceptions reflect it in one way or another.
But how and why do they reflect it the way they do?
That’s where things get interesting.
The key message here is: The way we perceive challenges is highly subjective and variable.
Have you ever tried to carry a heavy backpack when you were tired or grumpy?
Chances are, it felt even heavier than it would have under different circumstances.
Psychological research not only confirms this fact, but shows that similar things can happen in just about any situation.
Figuratively speaking, all of our burdens in life tend to feel “heavier” when we’re fatigued or in a negative mental state.
With this in mind, let’s go back to that heavy workload.
Now, let’s say you really do have a lot on your plate.
In that case, sure, there’s an undeniable, objective element to the heaviness you perceive.
But there’s also a subjective element.
The same exact amount of work could feel lighter or heavier, depending on whether you’re feeling energetic or fatigued, positive or negative.
And that’s just one example of a more general phenomenon.
Many other factors can make us perceive the same exact challenge as being more or less difficult: our beliefs, attitudes, emotions, thoughts, and even other perceptions.
We’ll come back to these additional factors and see how we can use them to our advantage in the blinks ahead, but for now, the point is simply this: we should take our perceptions with a grain of salt.
Yes, they are reflections of reality – but they’re often like the ones you see in a funhouse mirror, where things can get exaggerated in all sorts of ways.
We can change our perceptions of reality – and by doing so, we can also change our reality itself.
All right, so based on what we’ve learned so far, what should you do the next time you find yourself with a burden that feels too heavy?
Well, you could remind yourself that you may feel this way because you're tired or in a negative state of mind.
Of course, simply realizing this doesn’t magically fix your problem.
But what it does do is point you in the right direction.
Maybe you just need to improve your sleep or diet.
That will give you some extra energy, and the task will suddenly appear more manageable.
In fact, it won’t just seem more manageable – it will become more manageable.
Why?
We’ll come to that in a moment.
This is just one example of the power of perception, but it illustrates a broader point.
The key message here is: We can change our perceptions of reality – and by doing so, we can also change our reality itself.
Let’s say you start eating and sleeping better, and that makes your workload feel lighter.
What happened there?
What caused this change?
Well, because your mind is now more energized, it’s able to do some heavier lifting, so to speak.
That makes your brain perceive the burden as actually easier to lift.
Because that burden now feels easier to lift, your efforts also seem more likely to succeed.
This, in turn, motivates you to pour more of your intelligence, skills, and other resources into achieving your goal.
And that makes the goal itself easier to accomplish.
It’s all a bit like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By making your task seem more achievable, you actually make it more achievable in reality.
But notice how you’re doing this.
You’re not just telling yourself, “Oh, my workload isn’t really so heavy” or “I’m strong enough to do this.
” No, you are actively doing something to change your perception – in this case, getting better sleep.
In other words, tapping into the power of perception isn’t just about the “positive thinking” or “optimism” that many self-help gurus advocate.
It’s a matter of actually doing things that enable you to see your situation from a different perspective.
Improving your sleep and diet are just two examples – there are many more.
Other, subtler techniques can help you see reality in a way that’s more conducive to happiness and success.
If you put them together and start using them, you’ll be able to cultivate a trait the author calls “positive genius.
” We’ll find out exactly what this is in the next blinks.
Our minds can create different maps of reality – and some of them are more beneficial to us than others.
In our day-to-day lives, we usually think of reality as something that’s “out there,” something that’s separate from our minds.
But as we’ve seen, the truth is more complicated.
Yes, there is a reality outside of ourselves.
But we experience it in a manner that’s created by our minds.
And that’s because our brains aren’t like cameras; they don’t just passively record whatever they come across.
Instead, our minds are always hard at work, receiving various bits of information and actively piecing them together into something that is a bit like a map.
Of course, not all maps are created equal.
Some take us exactly where we want to go; others make us meander and may lead us astray.
Positive genius is the ability to create the sort of maps that are most likely to lead us to success and happiness.
The key message here is: Our minds can create different maps of reality – and some of them are more beneficial to us than others.
Think of a real map for a moment.
Does it depict every nook and cranny of the territory it represents?
Of course not – it shows a very selective set of details.
It only highlights what the mapmaker deemed important.
The same thing is true of your mental map of reality.
Your brain receives up to 11 million bits of information per second, but it can only process 40 bits per second.
When your mind builds a picture of reality, it’s forced to select a relatively small set of facts about the world.
The rest is just cast aside.
And that means your brain can construct many different, but equally accurate, maps of the same reality.
How?
By deciding which facts to include, and which to ignore.
If you just focus on your unsupportive boss and heavy workload, you’ll have one map of your situation at work.
But if you focus on how your boss feels so much confidence in your abilities that he has entrusted you with a tremendous amount of responsibility, you’ll have a very different one.
Both maps provide truthful representations of reality, but if you want to be happy and successful, one of them is much more empowering.
To create better mental maps of reality, we need to break free of our tendency to view the world in a single, customary way.
Imagine you could take a magic pill that makes your body release very special hormones.
These substances have the power to boost your brain’s ability to retrieve memories, process information, focus on problems, and much more.
Not only that, but the pill can also help you deepen your social bonds, become mentally tougher in the face of adversity, and even make your life seem more meaningful.
Sounds pretty great, right?
Well, you don’t need a pill to enjoy these benefits.
Research shows that your body already has a built-in mechanism that can automatically produce all of them for you.
And it’s called stress.
Surprised?
Well, there’s a reason for that, and it brings us to our next lesson.
The key message here is: To create better mental maps of reality, we need to break free of our tendency to view the world in a single, customary way.
Chances are, you’ve heard about the negative effects of stress a bazillion times – physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue, harmful impacts on the body’s organs, links to all six leading causes of death – the list goes on and on.
In fact, that’s all that most of us will ever hear about the subject.
No surprise, then, that we’ve got used to viewing stress as something bad.
And that leads to a vicious circle.
When you’re stressed out, you don’t just feel the symptoms of stress.
You’re also thinking, “This is bad!
” And those thoughts make you even more stressed!
Now, here’s the thing.
All those negative effects of stress are real – but so are the positive ones.
The question is: Which will you focus on?
And your answer matters.
If you want proof, just look at a study conducted by the author and one of his colleagues.
They took some stressed-out managers of the bank UBS, and split them into two groups.
One was asked to focus on the negative effects of stress, and the other, to concentrate on the positives.
Managers in the second group experienced a 23-percent decrease in physical symptoms of stress and a 30-percent increase in productivity.
And all just because they looked at their stress in a new way!
We can improve our mental maps of reality by viewing the world from new perspectives and focusing on different details.
But wait a moment.
Does all this talk about perception and reality just boil down to the old adage about the glass being half empty or half full?
Is it just saying that we should focus on the positives, while ignoring the negatives?
Not really.
The point isn’t to view the world through rose-tinted lenses.
Instead, it’s all about opening yourself up to various possibilities.
Perhaps the glass is half full.
Or maybe it's half empty.
But what if there's a pitcher of water on the other side of the table?
Then it could be easily refilled in either case!
The thing is, you can only see that pitcher if you stop fixating on the glass, move your eyes, and notice other details in front of you.
The key message in this blink is: We can improve our mental maps of reality by viewing the world from new perspectives and focusing on different details.
Looking at the world in this way is a new skill to learn.
As with any skill, it takes practice to master.
To get started, try the following exercise.
Go to a local art museum, or just find some artwork to look at online.
Choose a few paintings to study, and look at each of them from many different angles and distances.
Try to spot all the new details that emerge with each shift of position.
Even if you’re not an “art person,” you can still benefit from this exercise.
Many first-year medical students at Yale are asked to do it; a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that students who perform this exercise become 10 percent better at detecting important medical details.
Here’s another exercise.
Write down a list of words that describe how you see your job.
Then, for each set of words, ask yourself if there’s some detail you’re leaving out of your description.
Write down each thing that comes to mind.
For instance, if you wrote that you have a turbulent work environment and a heavy workload, maybe you could also write that you have opportunities for promotion and a lot of responsibility.
Then look at your second list and repeat the same procedure, coming up with a third list.
The result?
Three completely different, but equally valid, versions of the same reality.
To create an optimal mental map, we need to find our “most valuable reality.
Looking at things from various angles and focusing on different details is a useful exercise in and of itself.
It makes you more aware of the multiple versions of reality that your mind could construct as it maps out the world around you.
But to really set yourself up for happiness and success, you don’t just want to be able to come up with any old version of reality – you want to be able to see the most valuable reality.
In the language of positive psychology, this involves finding the most valid, helpful, and positive way of perceiving reality.
What does this mean?
Well, in short, you want a map that’s accurate, encouraging, and empowering.
The key message here is: To create an optimal mental map, we need to find our “most valuable reality.
” Once again, this is a skill that you can acquire through practice.
To get started, here’s another exercise.
First, choose an object or concept that’s part of your daily life.
Next, play a little word-association game.
In 30 seconds, come up with as many words and phrases as you can to describe that thing.
Suppose you pick your email inbox.
You’ll probably come up with dozens of words to describe it.
Now give yourself one point for each negative term, such as “overloaded,” “endless,” and “source of stress.
” When you’re done, go through the list again and give yourself three points for each positive description, like “social connection,” “lunch invitations,” “business opportunities,” “incredibly fast,” and “useful tool.
” Now, you might be wondering, why is one point awarded for the negative descriptions?
Why not zero?
Well, remember, you’re not trying to become a half-glass-full person who only sees the positive aspects of life.
Negative things are real, and you shouldn’t ignore or downplay them.
But the same can be said of positive things – they, too, are real.
There’s no reason to brush them aside either.
Unfortunately, we have a tendency to do just that.
Our minds give much more weight to negative facts than positive ones.
Think of how that single mistake you make in a project can seem to outweigh everything else you did right.
To counteract this tendency and restore some balance to your perspective, aim to find at least three positive details for every negative one – not just in this game, but in every situation in life.
Once you’ve found your most valuable reality, you can chart your path to happiness and success.
That 3:1 ratio you learned about at the end of the last blink isn’t just something the author pulled out of thin air.
It has a scientific basis.
Psychological research shows that our minds need about three positives to balance out each negative detail.
It also shows that 3:1 is the ratio of positive-to-negative thoughts that successful people have.
When the ratio drops to 2:1, people tend to languish.
And at 1:1, they are depressed.
So if you want to be happy and successful, you really do need to strengthen your ability to see positive details in the world around you.
This will enable you to find your most valuable reality.
But once you’ve found it, then what?
We’ll end by looking at some of the steps you can take.
The key message here is: Once you’ve found your most valuable reality, you can chart your path to happiness and success.
What’s a map for?
Well, its purpose is to help you get from A to B.
The same goes for your mental map of reality.
In this case, A is where you are in life right now, and B is where you want to be – happier and more successful.
This leads us to an important question: How do you even define your destination, that elusive point B?
After all, happiness and success mean different things to different people.
If you want to locate them on your map, you need to have a clear idea of what they mean to you.
What sort of activities and accomplishments make you feel happy and successful?
Write down a list of at least ten answers.
Make them specific.
Don’t just write things like “family,” “money,” or “career.
” Come up with examples of what those broad categories concretely mean to you – things like “finding time to read together,” “being able to afford to travel,” or “getting a promotion.
” Now, how can you achieve these goals?
Write down a list of all the resources you currently have.
Don’t just think of material resources like money.
Think also of your intellectual, emotional, and social resources – things like leadership skills, the ability to stay cool under pressure, or a positive relationship with a manager.
Now think about the opportunities that are open to you.
Write down anything that could help you get closer to one of your goals.
Maybe you could volunteer to take charge of a project at work?
That would help you demonstrate leadership skills.
Remember, the secret to happiness and success is to perceive reality in a way that enables you to make the best of any resources and opportunities that you have.
We can perceive the same situations, problems, and challenges in many different ways.
Final summary
Our resulting maps of reality may all be equally accurate, but some are more beneficial to us than others.
By looking at the world from new angles and focusing on different facts, we can perceive reality in ways that are more conducive to happiness and success.
Actionable advice: Maintain your ratio.
To become more skilled at seeing three positive details for every negative detail, try upping the difficulty level of the word-association game you learned earlier.
Instead of focusing on everyday items like email inboxes and sinks full of dirty dishes, come up with the positives and negatives of people and situations in your life.
Keep practicing this skill, and it will eventually become a habit – you’ll be able to zero in on the positives wherever you look.